Chapter 41
Can’t Lose Her
Chapter 39: Can’t Lose Her
Cameron’s POV
Frank closed his eyes briefly when he heard this as he shook his head. “I didn’t know that she
was going through this. This must have been terrifying for her p>
“It was terrifying to her. Hell watching her fall back in Chicago in front of me before being
taken to the hospital was a lot scarier to me than i expected. And then I remember what she
had suffered through and I get angry. She’s been alone through a lot of this, and it’s not fair.
Our family wasn’t-we weren’t there when she needed us. That’s done now, but the damage
from the past few months is real p>
I looked at him. “She has a son she’s left behind because she didn’t want to be a burden on
him, especially with things tense between them. A husband, who saw her as invincible,
focused on other women and who treated her p>
I stopped myself, because that particular story would take more control than I currently had
to tell without putting my fist through something, preferably his face but that wasn’t an
option yet.
“She’s carrying a lot. The physical treatment is only part of what she needs. She is being
weighed down by a lot of things. I am worried that even the emotional aspect of the things
she had been through might hinder the drugs from working properly p>
“We have excellent counseling support here. Psychological oncology, family therapy,
whatever she needs. I’ll make referrals, she is going to heal from this, she just needs a little
time p>
Frank made a note, so he wouldn’t forget about it p>
“Sedona was always a fighter, never one to give up on things no matter how hard it painful it
was even as a kid. I remember treating her for that pneumonia when she was fifteen-
absolute terror of a patient, arguing with every decision I made, and refusing to take anything
bitter because she said unless she could take ice-cream later, it wasn’t a medication. That
memory was every memorable”
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The ghost of a smile showed on his face as he was remembering that fiery head who made
an impact on his life.
A chaotic one nevertheless.
“I need that Sedona. The one who argues and fight back. Can you get her back p>
I thought of my sister in the hotel suite, when she’d said I promise in that small, certain voice.
I thought of the way she’d walked out of the Chicago house with one bag and her
grandmother-in-law’s necklace, burning a marriage to the ground with her chin up.
“She’s already here,” I said. “She’s been here the whole time. She just needed somewhere safe
to be herself once more. I’m hoping with time she would realize it and bring that part of
herself out again p>
“I’ll keep you in touch after I hear from my colleagues at the research lab. I’m sure that they will give me a spot if I ask for it. I’ll try and push for her to be in the first list for the drugs.” He
said as I shook his hand, grateful that he was going this far for Sedona. It was better if he got in contact because that way we would have an insider eye to what was happening.
“Thank you so much. We appreciate this p>
After I left Frank’s office, I sat in the parking garage for a moment in the car, doing the thing I’d been not-doing for days: letting myself feel it. I couldn’t let myself process it in the hospital because I needed to appear composed and I couldn’t do it at home because I would only scare my parents and Sedona and that is the last thing that I wanted to do now
Stage four gastric cancer, which meant that Sedona was in much pain than she had told me, and she kept mute suffering over it, taking only pain relievers that might not have been
helping one bit.
I did the calculations in my head. Twenty-four weeks of brutal treatment, that might end up in
a positive light or something that would end up in tears. There was no definite answer waiting at the end of the tunnel.
There was also a thirty-one percent remission rate.
Sixty-nine percent chance my sister might not make it.
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes and said nothing out loud, because saying
it out loud made it real in a way I wasn’t ready for. This wasn’t a problem that I could buy
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away easily with money. This was something that I had to depend on a miracle literally to
give my sister a chance and I wasn’t ready to lose her.
Then I took a breath. Another. Until the noise in my head became smaller and smaller until it
turned to something that I could tune off.
“I just got my sister back,” I said, to the empty car, to whoever might be listening. “I can’t lose
her now. I am not losing her now p>
I started the car and drove back to the Preston house, where my sister was sleeping in her
bed and my parents were cooking dinner together in the kitchen and the Japanese maple
was dropping red leaves into the front garden like it always did, always constant despite how
life changes.
I walked through the front door, and the smell of my mother’s cooking reached me, and from
upstairs I could hear something I hadn’t heard in years-the distant sound of Sedona’s laughter at something our father was telling her from the doorway of her room.
Thirty-one percent. I needed to make that not turn into a reality. Not yet. I would not dwell on it until I have exhausted all options that were left. And if this drug would give her a chance, I’ll
make sure that I’ll convince Sedona to try this, to give this another go.
I took off my coat, put it on the hook by the door where it had always gone, and went to join
my family.
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