Chapter 50
Chapter 48: Picking The Pieces Of Her Life
Sedona’s POV
The room was very quiet.
Rachel’s eyes were bright with unshed tears. “Sedona. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you went
through that alone p>
Claum
“I wasn’t alone at the end. Cameron found me. Or I found him, I guess. I called him when I—” I
stopped, realizing I’d almost revealed the cancer diagnosis, which I’d been carefully avoiding,
because I didn’t want them to know yet. “When I needed help p>
“And your son,” Enzo said carefully, speaking up since the story started. “Nick. You left him
with Logan p>
The question hurt in a specific way that had no way for me to deal with it. It was still a sore
wound, one that I was actively managing as I nodded my head.
“He didn’t want me as his mum anymore. He made that very clear. And I didn’t want to force a
child who hated me to-” I stopped again, fighting for control as I exhaled before continuing.
“I gave Logan full custody. I signed away my parental rights. It was the clean break everyone
wanted, and I was getting worse with each passing day, so it seemed like the right thing to
do p>
“But what about what you wanted?” Rachel’s voice was fierce suddenly, anger warring inside
her as she gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.
“What about your rights as his mother? What about the fact that you spent three years
keeping him alive and you deserved better than just being known as a nuisance nobody
wanted anymore and then being erased from his life p>
“It doesn’t matter what I wanted,” I said. “Nick is better off with Logan and Catherine. That is
the simple truth, I am dealing with facts and not emotions. They can give him everything I
couldn’t-stability, happiness, a mother who doesn’t make him feel like he’s being
suffocated p>
“That’s not true p>
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Picking Up The Pieces Of Her Life
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“Rachel.” I looked at her directly. “I need you to hear this. I need you to understand. I made the
choice that was right for Nick. Not the choice that was easy for me, or the choice that made
me feel good about myself. I made the choice that protected him from having to watch his
mother-” I stopped, catching myself again.
Rachel and Enzo were both watching me with expressions that suggested they’d caught what
I hadn’t said.
Н
From having to watch your mother what?” Rachel asked softly.
I looked down at Molly, at her perfect small face, and made a decision, they were going to find out sooner than ever, besides I had been living in the hospital now, Rachel was already
suspicious.
“I have cancer,” I said. “Gastric cancer. Stage four. I was diagnosed the same day Logan was
at Disneyland with his first love recreating their past memories. The day he told me I was
being selfish and hung up on me.” I kept my voice level, bland, because if I let any emotion
into it I was going to fall apart.
“The doctor in Chicago gave me three months without treatment, that was how short my
lifespan had shortened down to. He said that I had maybe a year with aggressive
intervention. I’m here at St. Anthony’s in an experimental trial that Dr. Mitchell thinks might
help. But the survival rate is thirty-one percent, and I’m already through three weeks of
treatment that’s been-” I gestured vaguely at my appearance, at the IV in my arm, at the
obvious evidence of a body at war with itself. “It’s been hard p>
Rachel’s hand had gone to her mouth again, and I saw tears spill over onto her cheeks. Enzo
had gone very still, his expression shocked.
“That’s why I left Nick with Logan,” I continued. “That’s why I signed away custody. Because if
I’m going to die-when I’m going to die-I don’t want my son’s last memory of me to be
watching me waste away in a hospital bed. I don’t want him to remember me like this.” I
touched my bald head self-consciously. “I want him to remember me the way I was before.
Even if the way I was before was someone he hated p>
“Sedona,” Rachel’s voice was breaking. “Oh my god, Sedona p>
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“I’m fighting it,” I said quickly trying to convince her before she would unleash the fireworks
and set me off crying as well.
“I’m in treatment, I have good doctors, my family is here supporting me through it all. I’m not
giving up. But I needed you to understand why I made the choices I made. It wasn’t because I
didn’t love Nick. It was because I loved him too much to make him carry this p>
Rachel was out of her chair and had her arms around me before I could say anything else,
careful of Molly between us, careful of my IV lines. She held me tightly, and I felt her shaking
with sobs that she was trying to muffle against my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she kept saying. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I’m sorry you went through
this alone, I’m sorry p>
“It’s okay,” I said, though we both knew it wasn’t but the sentiment was nice. “It’s okay. I’m
here now. I’m home. That’s what matters p>
Enzo had moved closer too, one hand on Rachel’s back, his expression devastated in a way
that I had never seen on his face. He truly looked sad about my condition, we might have not
kicked it off on a good start but that didn’t mean he wanted the worse for me. “What do you
need?” he asked. “Tell us what you need and we’ll do it. Anything p>
“This,” I said, looking at them both, at Rachel’s face streaked with tears, at Enzo’s concern, at
Molly sleeping peacefully through everything. “This is what I need. People who knew me
before. People who can help me remember who I actually am p>
“You’re Sedona Preston,” Rachel said fiercely, pulling back to look at me. “You’re brilliant and
stubborn and occasionally infuriating. You’re one of the best tennis players your generation
produced. You’re my best friend. You’re Cameron’s sister. You’re a mother who loved her son
enough to let him go when she thought it would protect him. You’re a fighter. And you’re
going to beat this, do you hear me? You’re going to beat this and then you’re going to figure
out what comes next p>
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