Chapter 59
The Wait Is Agonizing-1
Chapter 55: The Wait Is Agonizing
Sedona’s POV
They came for me at two PM, right on the dot and not a minute late.
Two nurses I hadn’t met before, wearing protective gowns and gloves that made the whole thing
feel more ominous and scary than Frank’s careful explanations had.
They transferred me from my regular bed to a specialized gurney, checked all my lines, and made sure that they were connected to the right machines and doing what it was supposed to do, they also verified my identity against their clipboards thoroughly.
Cameron walked beside the gurney as far as they’d let him, which turned out to be the doors to the treatment wing. He squeezed my hand one more time before they wheeled me through.
“See you on the other side,” he said.
“See you on the other side p>
The treatment room was smaller than I’d expected, and more sterile. Everything was white or chrome, surfaces that could be easily disinfected, it was bland and devoid of colours or personal touches to make it look a bit different than what it actually was.
There were monitors everywhere-more than seemed necessary for one patient.
Frank was already there, scrubbed and gowned, reviewing something on a tablet.
He looked up when I came in and gave me a small smile that was probably meant to be
reassuring.
“Ready?” he asked.
I wasn’t. I was absolutely not ready. Every cell in my body was screaming that this was a bad idea, that I should call it off, that dying slowly but peacefully was preferable to whatever was about to
happen.
But I thought about everyone who was waiting for me, and making plans for me that I wanted to
keep to.
And against my wish, I also thought about Nick, somewhere in Chicago, growing up without me.
“I’m ready,” I said…
The first medication went in through my central line-something to prepare my system, Frank
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explained. Within minutes, I felt strange, and I pointed it out to him.
That’s normal,” Frank said, watching the monitors. “It should pass in a few minutes p>
It did pass, but it was replaced by something worse when the actual treatment agent started flowing. At first it was just warmth, spreading from the injection site outward. Uncomfortable but
tolerable.
Then it became heat. Real heat, like liquid fire spreading through my body system, finding every vessel and nerve, that existed in my body and making itself known.
I gripped the bed rails, trying to breathe through it the way I’d breathed through labor pains when Nick was bom, the sharp pain that started building up with no stop in sight as I closed my eyes
gritting my teeth.
This is temporary, I told myself. This will pass. Just get through the next moment, then the next,
then the next.
“Sedona?” Frank’s voice, close but it sounded like I was under water hearing it.
“Talk to me. How bad is the pain p>
“Bad,” I managed to speak against the pain I was feeling. “It’s bad p>
“On a scale of one to ten p>
I wanted to say eight or nine, wanted to downplay it somehow. But Frank needed accurate
information to treat me properly.
“Ten. It’s a ten p>
He made some adjustments to my IV, added something that took the edge off but didn’t eliminate the burning entirely but made it less intense and I let out a breath, still trying to maintain
composure.
“This is normal,” he said again. “Your body is fighting the medication but that’s expected and it is going according to what we researched. Try to stay still, try to breathe evenly. You’re doing great p>
I didn’t feel like I was doing great. I felt like I was dying by degrees, like my body was being dismantled and Frank was standing there telling me it was all according to plan.
Time stopped having meaning. The burning spread everywhere, not leaving a place untouched, it made my fingers and toes feel like they were being dipped in acid.
My vision blurred, then cleared, then blurred again. I could hear machines beeping in patterns I didn’t understand, could hear Frank giving quiet instructions to the nurses, could hear my own
harsh breathing but it sounded distant, like it belonged to someone else.
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The Wait Is Agonizing-1
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