Chapter 38
Elena’s Point Of View
Jaxx’s smirk widened, his hands tightening on my bare thighs beneath the bunched-up violet silk.
“You’re holding on pretty tight for someone who hates me, Bambina p>
“Shut up, Jaxx,” I bit out, my nails digging harder into his shirt fabric until I felt the thick muscle beneath it. “Just shut the hell up p>
“Am I lying, princess?” His voice dropped an octave, the heavy, dark vibration rattling straight down my spine, settling somewhere low in my belly that I refused to acknowledge. I hated that he could do that with just a few words, that my body had never once needed convincing where he was concerned. It was an old betrayal, one I’d spent years trying to unlearn, and yet here it was again, resurfacing the instant he opened his mouth.
“You’re wrong,” I gasped, my chest heaving against his as I tried, and completely failed to push an inch of space between us. “You mean nothing to me. You know what you did to me years back, Jaxx. You know exactly what you did. So tell me why I shouldn’t burst your balls right here p>
Jaxx let out a low, wicked laugh, his thumbs pressing into the soft skin of my outer thighs. “Oof. Careful on that part, princess. I still haven’t been where I fantasize about yet p>
My breath caught in my throat. Heat spiked through my core so fast it made my vision blur, and for one traitorous second I hated my own body for reacting at all. It was infuriating, this quiet betrayal of nerve endings and memory, the way years of distance meant nothing against the low rasp of his voice.
I wanted to blame the wine, the dim lighting, anything but the truth sitting heavy in my chest… that some part of me had never stopped listening for that exact tone.
“You shameless pig!” I yelled, bringing my fist down against his collarbone.
He didn’t even flinch. He just chuckled, a dark, dangerous sound that seemed to vibrate through his entire chest, and pulled away from the damp brick wall. He carried me down the dim, red-lit service corridor like I weighed nothing at all, my heels kicking uselessly against the backs of his legs as he navigated a sharp right turn.
I hated how secure I felt in his arms, how my body seemed to remember him even as my mind screamed to fight. Some small, buried part of me, one I despised, had missed the way he held me like I was something worth carrying. It was a dangerous thought, and I shoved it down before it could take root any deeper.
At the end of the hall stood a heavy steel door with a matte-black keyless entry pad. Jaxx didn’t drop me. He didn’t even shift my weight. With one arm clamped firmly under my rear, pinning me to his hip, he tapped a six-digit code into the glowing blue pad, his movements unhurried, almost lazy, as though he had all the time in the world and I wasn’t currently plotting his slow demise.
The lock clicked with a sharp, heavy thunk.
“Drop me already, Jaxx!” I hissed as he pushed the door open with his boot. “Graham has already seen what I wanted him to see! Why are you still holding me p>
“Because I want to,” he drawled, stepping into the dimly lit, expansive suite and letting the heavy door swing shut behind us. “And because I can p>
The lock engaged automatically behind us with a loud, final snap, and something about that sound made my stomach twist with a mixture of dread and something far more shameful. The finality of it pressed against my ribs, a reminder that whatever happened next would happen with no witnesses, no audience to perform for. There was no Graham to convince, no crowd to fool… only the two of us and every unresolved thing we’d never said aloud.
Before I could draw enough air into my lungs to scream at him again, Jaxx slammed me back against the closed door. His mouth crashed down on mine… hard, unforgiving, and completely intoxicating. He caught my lower lip between his teeth, biting down just enough to make me gasp, and the second my mouth parted, his tongue slid inside, claiming me with a terrifying, feral hunger that erased every rational thought in my head.
My head hit the reinforced wood of the door, but I didn’t care. I was drowning, and some desperate, furious part of me didn’t want to be saved. My fingers tangled into the short hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer when I should have been clawing his eyes out.
I hated myself a little more with every second that passed, and yet I couldn’t make myself stop. Every rational argument I’d built over the years crumbled the moment his mouth found mine again, as though my body had been waiting for permission to forget. Years of carefully constructed walls, of telling myself I was over him, dissolved in the space of a single breath.
His hand slithered up beneath the bunched-up silk of my dress. He bypassed my waist entirely, his fingers diving under the thin lace of my panties, finding my center without a single second of hesitation.
I let out a ragged, embarrassing moan right into his mouth.
Jaxx pulled back from the kiss just an inch, his dark eyes glittering with absolute, arrogant triumph under the low yellow lights of the office. A slow, filthy smirk spread across his face as his fingers found me completely drenched.
“For someone claiming to hate me,” he whispered against my mouth, “you’re already so damn wet. Were you already anticipating this p>
“You’re out of your mind!” I panted, my face burning so hot I thought my skin would melt. “That’s… that’s nothing! Stop touching me! Why would I anticipate having anything to do with you p>
He didn’t stop. His thumb found my clit through the wet lace, pressing down and rubbing in a slow, brutal circle that made my thoughts scatter entirely.
My back arched off the door. I gasped against his shoulder, my fingers tightening in his hair as a sharp wave of pleasure crashed over my hips. “Stop, Jaxx… please p>
To my utter shock, he actually stopped.
Jaxx pulled his hand back, smoothed down the front of his pants, and gently lowered my feet until my heels hit the polished hardwood floor. The sudden absence of his touch left me feeling strangely hollow, a sensation I refused to examine too closely. My skin still hummed where his fingers had been, and I hated that emptiness almost as much as I’d hated the fullness before it. It was a cruel kind of clarity, standing there aching for something I’d just spent all my energy denying.
I stumbled back against the door, my knees trembling so violently I had to press my palms against the wood behind me to stay upright. My dress fell back down around my knees in a mess of wrinkled violet silk. I stared at him, my heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird.
I hadn’t expected it to be that easy. I thought I’d have to fight him off with a glass bottle, and the fact that he’d stopped so willingly unsettled me more than if he hadn’t.
It felt almost like a test, one I wasn’t sure I’d passed or failed. Maybe that was the worst part… not knowing which answer would have hurt less.
I swallowed hard, pushing a stray lock of dark hair out of my face, trying desperately to gather whatever shattered pieces of my dignity were left on the floor.
“Why did you bring me in here?” I asked, my voice still trembling, raspy and breathless.
Jaxx leaned back against the edge of a massive mahogany desk, crossing his broad arms over his unbuttoned white shirt. His tattooed forearms flexed, the dark ink shifting under his skin as he studied me with quiet, predatory intensity, like a man who already knew the answer and was simply waiting to see if I’d admit it first.
There was something almost patient in the way he watched me, a stillness that felt far more dangerous than his earlier roughness. It was the kind of silence that demanded honesty, the sort that made lying feel pointless.
“I’m about to ask a similar question,” he said, his voice quiet, deep, and dangerous. “Why did you do that out there p>
I looked away, staring down at the dark Persian rug beneath my shoes, my cheeks burning with a sudden, humiliating wave of embarrassment. The silence between us stretched thick enough to choke on.
“Elena,” he growled softly, the nickname dropping into the silent room like a heavy stone. “Why did you kiss me in front of that guy, Bambina? What was your aim p>
I bit the inside of my lip, refusing to answer, my silence stretching taut between us like something ready to snap. Every excuse I could think of sounded hollow even inside my own head, each one collapsing under the weight of his stare before I could even voice it.
Jaxx pushed off the desk, taking two slow, deliberate steps toward me until his boots were touching the toes of my heels, trapping me between his chest and the locked door once again. He reached out, his long fingers cupping my jaw and forcing my face up until my eyes met his, dark and unwavering, daring me to keep hiding.
“Answer me,” he whispered, his thumb resting right over my lower lip. “Or I put my hand back under that dress p>