Chapter 334
Jaxx’s Point Of View
“Understood,” Roman said. He got into the car, threw it into reverse, and tore out of the driveway, the gravel spraying behind his tires in a violent arc as he vanished down the estate road, leaving only dust and silence in his wake.
The silence that followed was heavy, oppressive, broken only by the steady, rhythmic ticking of my car’s engine cooling down in the sun. I stood there alone on the driveway, staring down at the bloody silver knife in my right hand. The crimson fluid was thick, clinging to the small grooves of the blade, catching the light.
For three long seconds, my brain did a dangerous, dark little flip. I could vividly see it… the alternate version of events playing out in my mind like a film. I could see myself running after that SUV, pulling Graham out through the window, and jamming the steel directly into his throat until his eyes went completely blank and empty. The fantasy was so vivid I could almost feel the resistance of flesh, hear the gurgling gasp.
I forced the thought down, swallowing hard against the metallic taste of my own fury that coated my tongue. No. Elena didn’t need to see that. She didn’t need to know about that version of me… the version that didn’t know how to stop once the blood started flowing, the version that had done things in the past that still haunted my dreams. The version I’d been trying to bury for years.
I walked over to the Mercedes, pulled a clean, white detailing cloth from the door pocket, and slowly, meticulously wiped the blade until the steel was completely spotless, gleaming silver once more. The ritual was calming, methodical. I folded it back with a sharp, heavy click and slid it deep into my pocket, feeling its weight against my thigh.
I walked back up the stone steps of the porch, my bare feet feeling heavy against the concrete, each step an effort. The adrenaline was starting to fade, leaving exhaustion in its wake. The foyer inside was a total disaster… the plaster cracked where Graham had slammed Elena against the wall, the decorative basket smashed into pieces, those stupid sea-salt chocolate bars scattered all over the hardwood like debris after a storm. I cursed under my breath, a low, vicious string of words directed entirely at myself, at my failure to protect her.
I shouldn’t have left, I thought, my chest tightening with a sudden, suffocating wave of guilt that threatened to choke me. I should have listened to her. I should have stayed right on that porch instead of running down to the docks for some stupid paper that could have waited. This was my fault. My negligence had put her in danger. If I’d been here, if I’d just stayed, he never would have gotten through that door.
I walked into the living room, my heart already breaking at what I knew I’d find. She was still there, curled up into a tiny, tight ball on the very edge of the velvet sofa, her face buried so deeply into her hands that her lopsided hair turban was practically touching her knees. Her whole body was shaking, small, ragged shudders running down her spine under the white towel that was her only protection.
She looked so small, so vulnerable, so utterly unlike the fierce woman I knew her to be. The sight of her like this… broken, terrified was worse than any physical pain I’d ever endured.
My heart completely broke at the sight. The dangerous, lethal creature that had just carved up a man outside vanished into thin air, leaving me feeling hollowed out and desperate, stripped of all the armor I usually wore.
This was the real me… the man who would burn the world down for this woman. The man who would do anything, sacrifice anything, to keep her safe.
I walked over to the couch, dropping down onto my knees right on the floorboards beside her, positioning myself at her level. I didn’t care about the dust. I didn’t care about the blood still on my hands. I didn’t care about anything except making her feel safe again. I reached out, my large, tan hands sliding carefully around her waist, and pulled her entire, trembling body straight into my arms, cradling her against my chest. She felt fragile in my embrace, like something precious I might accidentally break.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I rasped, my voice sounding rough, completely ruined as I buried my face into the damp, soft side of her neck, breathing in her scent beneath the fear. The familiar smell of her shampoo mixed with salt from her tears nearly undid me. I lifted my head, pressing a long, lingering kiss directly onto her forehead, my lips brushing the skin right above her closed eyes with reverence.
“Everything is okay now. I’ve handled it. He’s gone, Elena. He’s never coming back here, never getting within a mile of you again. I swear to God, he’s never touching you again. I’ll make sure of it. I promise you p>
The second my skin made contact with hers, she let out this tiny, broken sob that cut right through my liver, through every defense I’d ever built. The sound was so small, so wounded, it made me want to go after Graham and finish what I’d started. Her hands came up, flying around my neck, her fingers digging into the skin at the nape of my neck with a frantic, desperate strength as she pulled me closer, burying her wet face right into the crook of my shoulder.
I felt her tears against my skin, hot and immediate, and I held her tighter, one hand sliding up to cradle the back of her head while the other wrapped around her waist. I rocked her gently, murmuring soft reassurances into her hair, letting her know without words that I was here, that I would always be here, that nothing and no one would ever hurt her again while I drew breath.
She was mine to protect, and I had failed her today. The knowledge burned through me like acid. But I wouldn’t fail her again. Never again.
I had to shift my weight quickly, my right hand flying out to grab the solid wooden edge of the sofa framework to support myself, keeping my large frame from pressing too heavily against her bruised shoulders. My other arm stayed locked around her waist, my long fingers rubbing through the thick white terrycloth in slow, tight, soothing circles against her lower back.
The rhythm came instinctively, as natural as breathing, as if my body knew exactly what she needed before my mind could catch up. Every circle I traced felt like a silent promise, a wordless apology for not being there when she needed me most.
“I was so scared, Jaxx,” she sobbed out, her voice muffled against my neck, her hot breath skimming my collarbone.
Her fingers tightened in my hair, pulling me down until there wasn’t an inch of space between us. The desperation in her grip told me everything her words couldn’t… she’d been terrified, truly terrified, in a way that made my chest constrict with rage and helplessness.
“I thought… when he tackled me… I thought he was going to… I thought nobody would hear me p>
“Shhh,” I cut her off gently, my lips brushing against her ear as I rocked her body slightly from side to side on the cushions.
I couldn’t let her finish that sentence. Wouldn’t let her relive it, not while I held her. The images her words conjured made me want to go back downstairs and make sure that bastard never walked again.
“You think nothing, princess. Do you hear me? You think absolutely nothing,” I whispered, my voice rougher than I intended. “He’s not repeating this. Not in this lifetime, not in the next p>
I tightened my grip around her waist, my face burying deeper into her wet hair as guilt tasted like copper in my mouth. The scent of her shampoo… something floral and clean, mixed with the salt of her tears, creating a combination that would haunt me for days to come.
“You’re mine, Elena. You’re safe here. And I am so incredibly sorry I failed you today p>
My voice cracked on the last word, betraying the iron control I’d been fighting to maintain. The admission cost me something vital, some piece of the armor I’d built around myself over the years.
“I promised to protect you. I promised I’d be back in fifteen minutes, and I let that rat slip through the front door because I wasn’t paying attention p>
The weight of that failure sat like a stone in my chest, crushing the air from my lungs. Fifteen minutes. That’s all it had taken for everything to go wrong. Fifteen minutes of me being careless, distracted, complacent.
Elena pulled her head back slowly, her big eyes wide, watery, and completely bloodshot as she stared directly into my face. Her cheeks were flushed a brilliant, messy pink, a single stray tear hanging off the tip of her nose. Despite the terror she’d just endured, a tiny, lopsided smile tugged at the corner of her swollen lips.
That smile… God, that smile, it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, fragile and brave all at once. It spoke of resilience I hadn’t known she possessed, a strength that humbled me completely.
She reached up, her thumb lightly brushing a smear of dust off my bare cheekbone. The gentleness of that touch, after everything, nearly undid me. How could she be the one offering comfort when I should be the strong one?
“You have done more than enough, Jaxx,” she whispered, her voice trembling but steadying with every word.
Each syllable seemed to cost her something, yet she pushed through anyway. I could see the effort it took, the way she forced herself to be present, to be here with me instead of lost in the nightmare of what had just happened.
“Look at you. You broke the door down. You saved me from him. You took care of me when I couldn’t even stand up p>
She shook her head violently, a wet lock of hair escaping the yellow towel and slapping against her forehead. Her eyes blazed with a fierce determination that cut through the vulnerability, reminding me why I’d been drawn to her in the first place… this fire, this refusal to be broken.
“It’s not your fault, Jaxx. It’s his fault. He’s the one who came here. He’s the one who broke the law p>
Her grip on my shoulder tightened, her nails digging in just enough to make her point, grounding me in the present moment.
“You shouldn’t be sitting here apologizing for what you didn’t do. You shouldn’t. Don’t do that to yourself p>
I stared at her, my thumb sliding up to catch the tear on her nose, my heart doing that strange, heavy roll again. How could she be comforting me right now? How could she be so damn strong when she should be falling apart? The question echoed through my mind, mixing with admiration and something deeper, something I wasn’t ready to name yet.
“Elena p>
“I mean it,” she insisted, her fingers curling into my bare shoulder, her eyes burning with a sudden, sharp frustration that looked so beautifully her it made me want to laugh with pure relief.
There she was… the fire I’d been terrified had been extinguished. The Elena who challenged me, who refused to let me wallow, who somehow managed to be stronger than anyone I’d ever known.
“If you start brooding like some tragic hero, Jaxx, I swear I’m going to throw this chocolate basket at your head p>
A hint of her usual spark flickered in those red-rimmed eyes, and I felt something loosen in my chest, some knot of fear finally beginning to unravel.
“Now shut up and just hold me p>
“Yes, princess,” I murmured, a genuine smirk finally breaking through my face as I pulled her back down against my chest.
The tension in my shoulders eased slightly as she settled against me, her breathing gradually slowing to match mine. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, breathing her in, letting the reality of her safety sink into my bones. She was here. She was whole. She was still fighting. And I’d be damned if I ever let anyone threaten that again.
This woman in my arms had just survived something that would have broken most people, and here she was, comforting me. The irony wasn’t lost on me, but neither was the profound gift of her trust.