Chapter 81
Oh, how could she have done this?
That was the thought running through Rosalind’s head in that moment because if she had not allowed herself to cross that line with Rowan, she would not be standing here unable to even open a door properly.
Before, he had only been intimidating in the usual way, cold and composed and impossible to read, but now it was different.
Now he knew things about her no one else did. He knew every sound she made when he touched her, every place that made her body react, every breathless moan that had escaped her lips beneath him.
And she knew what his hands felt like against her skin, how warm his mouth had been on her body, how his voice sounded when it lowered just for her.
Yet somehow, after all of that, they were both expected to stand in front of each other and act as though nothing had ever happened between them.
It was killing Rosalind.
Her hand hovered uncertainly over the door handle. Still, she had no choice but to leave the room. She could not stay hidden in here all day without drawing attention to herself.
Rosalind inhaled deeply, then another breath for courage before finally opening the door. The moment her eyes landed on Rowan, she froze entirely, her grip tightening against the handle while warmth rushed to her cheeks quickly.
“Good morning,” Rowan said first, breaking the silence between them.
His expression remained perfectly composed, every trace of the darkness from last night gone from his face as though she had imagined the entire thing. He looked exactly the same as he always did.
How could he possibly be this unaffected?
“Good morning,” Rosalind answered, though her voice came out embarrassingly unsteady beside his own.
Silence stretched between them afterward while they simply stared at one another.
Rosalind failed to notice his eyes briefly flick toward her concealed neck before returning to her face because she was too distracted by the sight of him standing there.
Then Rowan took a step forward, and Rosalind immediately stepped back in response. Not because she was frightened of him, but because her heart had suddenly started racing again.
Clearing her throat awkwardly, she hurried past him.
Rowan turned smoothly on his heels behind her. “Where are you going?” he asked calmly. “It’s the other way p>
Rosalind shut her eyes briefly in humiliation.
How much more foolish was she planning to act today?
Without another word, she turned around and quickly walked in the correct direction, refusing to look at him again while Rowan followed quietly behind her.
Unfortunately for Rosalind, the embarrassment did not end there.
Later during lessons, Lady Evelina suddenly stopped speaking midway through class, her gaze settling directly on Rosalind, whose thoughts had drifted far away from the room once again. Everyone noticed the way Lady Evelina kept staring at her except Rosalind herself.
“Rosalind… Rosalind”
Lady Evelina snapped her fingers sharply, causing Rosalind to jump slightly in surprise.
“If you do not wish to be here, then at least say so instead of behaving so disrespectfully,” the older woman scolded with a glare.
“I’m sorry,” Rosalind apologized immediately, realizing too late that she had completely zoned out.
Lady Evelina huffed softly before turning back toward the rest of the ladies.
“Are you alright?” Verity asked quietly beside her.
Rosalind nodded quickly, though Verity still looked unconvinced. It was obvious enough that her mind was elsewhere today.
Rosalind forced herself to calm down afterward. She had to stop acting this way before someone truly began suspecting something. Rowan was completely composed despite what had happened between them, so perhaps she needed to start behaving more like him too, even though it felt as though her entire world had been thrown into chaos overnight.
At lunch, Rosalind reached for her glass absentmindedly before suddenly catching Rowan’s gaze from where he stood behind her. Her fingers froze instantly around the cup.
Oh, tell me I’m imagining this.
The way he looked at her made her carefully maintained composure nearly crack right there at the table. Thankfully, Rowan looked away first, allowing her to finally breathe properly again.
“I think she just needs rest,” Thalia said quietly to the concerned Verity.
By the time night finally arrived, Rosalind collapsed onto her bed dramatically, staring up at the ceiling as though it had personally betrayed her.
This had to be the most humiliating day of her life.
And all because of one man she happened to like.
What would happen if she ever truly fell in love with him? Would she become even more miserable than this? Was this what happened when someone developed feelings for another person? Rosalind suddenly found herself strangely curious about how emotions like attraction, desire, and love actually worked because clearly something terrible had happened to her overnight.
Later, curfew arrived and the palace slowly fell silent. One by one, the lights throughout the castle were extinguished as everyone retired for the night.
Everyone except Rosalind.
“I’d give you pleasure like this every night if you come with me p>
His words replayed vividly in her mind as she paced slowly around her room, remembering the way he had caged her against the wall while looking directly into her eyes.
Rosalind bit down softly on her lip.
He wanted her to meet him again tonight, this time in the library, and she could not decide whether she should go or remain in her room like a sensible person. But the pleasure he had given her the previous night refused to leave her mind, and curiosity slowly began overpowering reason.
What exactly did he plan to do to her tonight?
And worse… what if he thought she was too frightened to come?
The last thing Rosalind wanted was to appear weak.
Rosalind quickly threw on her cloak before slipping out into the corridor. Using the skills she had learnt from Rowan, she managed to move carefully past the guards unnoticed, blending into the darkness without drawing attention to herself.
And suddenly, she understood exactly why Rowan had said to come and meet him. So that whenever the need arose… Rosalind would be able to move through the palace on her own unnoticed.