Chapter 67
Adrian’s POV
Hostel Room
The hallway was buzzing louder than usual.
Laughter. Whispered conversations among groups as if something big had happened that mattered to them.
As always, I didn’t care a damn about what was going on around me.
At least…that’s what I always made myself believe.
I went to the cafeteria for a coffee with my hands tucked into my pockets, gaze fixed ahead on my routine.
The cafeteria was half full as the TV mounted was paying the headlines…as usual.
Hostel rules p>
No music, no movies, no distractions.
I grabbed my coffee and was about to walk out.
News:
CEO Jonathan Rollings welcomes his wife Veronica Rollings. He has released their official marriage certificate for the press.
I didn’t react or even blink on hearing his name.
I picked up my coffee and was about to turn away.
It didn’t matter anymore.
I knew the truth.
I wasn’t his son.
He wasn’t my father.
Now whatever he did. or for whomever he did…was of no concern to me.
But then my feet froze.
The news reader said another name.
One that held a lot of feelings from my past.
Janet Rollings.
News:
CEO Jonathan Rollings also announced his daughter Janet Rollings is his only legal heir to Rollings Designs.
The cup in my hand stilled as I tried to digest the name I just heard.
“Janet is back?” I questioned myself.
“Didn’t her mother take off with her p>
For a brief moment everything around me blurred into mere background voices.
Voices seemed distant.
Movements were mere shadows.
She’s back?
Janet Rollings is back?
My mind was still struggling to process this fact.
When did she become a Rollings from Smith? I whispered.
“When she left she was Janet Smith p>
“Wasn’t she the one who left p>
Why come back?
I began to take steps, but slow ones.
Odd as it may sound, I always felt she was around me.
Seven years.
Seven years of building a life with no surname.
Seven years of living as a nobody.
Seven years of surviving under a name that truly belonged to me…Adrian.
And now p>
I clenched my fists as if that name meant nothing to me.
Like it doesn’t matter if she’s here or somewhere else.
Like it didn’t matter even if she came in front of me.
But I couldn’t deny my hands were trembling.
And I couldn’t control that.
Academic Room – A few minutes later
By the time I reached the academic room, the whispers became audible conversations.
Seven years of what I was standing on…was being challenged once again because of that girl.
By the time I came out of my thoughts, I overheard the teachers.
Everyone was talking about her.
“I heard Janet Rollings is the guest speaker.” one teacher said.
“Yes, she’s here to give an inspirational speech,” the other one said. “After all she’s an emerging painting prodigy p>
“I heard she’s here on the Director’s special invitation.” she continued.
“Her father wasn’t agreeing, but Janet personally insisted that she wanted to come p>
I stopped on hearing the word Insisted.
She insisted?
But why?
Here of all high schools?
Did she want to prove something by coming here, where I study?
Did she want to tell everyone how I treated her?
But…I never meant it if it wasn’t for p>
I trailed off as I walked past them.
But their words stuck to me and I just couldn’t get them out of my mind.
Hostel Room – A few moments later
I dropped my bag onto the desk in my room harder than I should have, the moment I stepped inside of my room.
The sound even echoed against the walls.
Inspiration.
A word that doesn’t inspire anything.
The word felt like a stab in the heart rather than what it should have.
Her mother took her.
Her mother brought her back.
Now she has returned back to her place…her apartment…her father.
She’s now living with her parents p>
And I p>
A weak smile escaped my lips.
“What was I to you Dad?” I muttered under my breath.
Now even that word felt foreign to me.
Like it was never mine, but I had taken a loan over it for seven years.
The door opened without a warning.
Unwelcomed, and predictable.
For trouble.
“Well well…look here if it isn’t Adrian Rollings, oops, I mean Adrian Harmon, oops…Adrian no surname cause he has no daddy p>
The other two boys laughed along with him.
I pulled my chair and leaned back into it.
“Say what you want and leave p>
Of course, they didn’t leave.
“You must have heard the news.” the first boy said.
I didn’t look up at him.
I didn’t need to.
A laugh followed.
“Of course you must have heard it,” he continued.
“Must be feeling really bad p>
I still didn’t react.
Then, he leaned over.
“The real Rollings’ daughter is back p>
The last line hit me hard, really hard.
It wasn’t only an insult.
It was the truth, but it was a truth they kept from me.
It was a truth they forced onto me.
“Seven years,” he continued.
“You lived seven years as the fake son p>
“And seven years waiting for your father who never cared about you p>
My fingers tightened around the arm rest so tight, the blood practically drained from my fingers.
A pause followed by a smirk.
“The real father has his real daughter to dote on p>
They laughed louder and more carelessly than before.
But deep inside of me p>
Something cracked.
“Done?” I asked coldly.
“Now please leave p>
They smirked.
“What? Did we hit a nerve p>
I stood up slowly.
The chair scraped slowly against the floor.
My voice was steady, sharp and controlled.
Because all that I had left with me now was p>
Control.
“What a reaction?” the first one said.
He stepped back and crossed his arms.
“Okay,” he said.
“The prove it p>
Silence.
“Prove you matter to your Dad and we’ll let you be p>
“Or are you scared he won’t even speak with you on the phone p>
That was the punch line for me.
For a brief moment.
Even if it was a second.
I could believe he is my Dad.
He will come if I call.
At times I would imagine.
I called him.
I heard his voice.
Then my dream broke.
Reality p>
But I never did.
He never came.
And somewhere deep down p>
I also knew he would cut my call.
They laughed as I didn’t reply and left.
I didn’t react even after they left.
Not that I had nothing to say to them.
But I’ve had enough of this name game.
And now nothing mattered anymore.
Not here and definitely not to them.
I sat still for a few minutes after they left.
Because the storm they brought with them.
Didn’t leave with them.
It stayed back in my head.
I exhaled then p>
I picked up my jacket and walked out of my room and went to the garden for some air.
Garden – Quiet Corner
It was the only place that was quiet, and the trees were the only living beings that didn’t nag me about my surname.
I lay on the grass as the word fake kept playing in my head over and over again.
The word Fake kept repeating itself in my mind.
Seven years.
I lived seven years hearing I was a fake.
I lived seven years as Adrian Rollings.
And p>
Seven years as the fake Adrian Rollings.
And now p>
That one person p>
Who stands between me being a fake or real,
Is back.
It also made me wonder p>
Was I ever a real human to mother and Dad?
Did I ever matter to them?
Or was I just a convenience to them.
A placeholder and a tool for my mother.
A mistake for Dad he could never correct in those seven years.
I closed my eyes and images of the past flashed past me.
Janet wasn’t like the other rich kids who hung around me for status.
Neither she was like the kids of the servants who stayed away out of fear.
All just wanted favors from mother or Dad.
But Janet p>
She was different.
She always used to call me brother.
Why?
I never understood.
Maybe Dad told her to.
She had every reason to hate me.
She could have opposed me for taking her father.
She could have resented me for causing her harm.
Even when everyone was scolding her mother.
When everyone was saying her dad was dead.
She was p>
Simple.
Kind.
I exhaled slowly as thinking about her only made me feel more bad about myself.
I got up and sat on the grass.
I ran my hand through my hair as a quiet laugh escaped my lips.
What rights did I even have to feel bad?
After everything that happened in their life p>
And after everything she went through.
Fact p>
I wasn’t the victim at the time.
Not then, especially not now.
And, I knew that.
But not knowing at the time p>
Only made matters worse for me then.
Because I lived in a lie for seven years, and in regret for seven years.
And now as much as I wanted,
I couldn’t even hate her.
Because all along I thought I was Dad’s real son and she was stealing him from me.
Reality p>
I stole her dad from her.
“I’m sorry p>
The words slipped out of my mouth like breath.
Though there was no one around to hear them,
But that was better as I still wasn’t ready to ask Janet for forgiveness.
I still didn’t have the ability to face her, let alone stand in front of her.
And for that there are lots of things I have to figure out.
Lots of things I need to clarify.
Until I understand the real truth.
Only then p>
I can face her p>
Only then p>
I can ask for her forgiveness.
But inside p>
I had begun asking for her forgiveness years back.
I got up, dusted my clothes.
The sky had darkened a bit, meaning time had passed.
A day of classes missed.
Not that it mattered as I rarely attended them.
But now I was certain of one thing.
If Janet is really back p>
Then things are not going to be the same anymore.
Not only for her.
Not only for me.
Because p>
This time p>
Even if I didn’t belong to anybody.
Even if I wasn’t a wanted child.
Even if I was nothing but a mistake of my parents.
I would stand up for myself.
Because p>
Running away in these seven years didn’t help me.
Staying quiet didn’t help me.
Now it was time to face them all.
Nothing was over yet.
Not the humiliation I faced over these seven years.
Not the truth about my real father p>
If Janet is back,
Then this time p>
I won’t run away from them.
Even if I don’t deserve to stand in front of the Rollings,
I will stand.
I will find my anchor.
My place to belong to.