Chapter 97
Aria pov
I left before he could respond, before the tears could fall, before I admitted that yes, I had enjoyed it. Enjoyed making him want me. Enjoyed the power of knowing I could still affect him that way.
But I was also terrified. Because if I could still make him lose control with a simple touch, what did that mean for my carefully constructed walls?
Twenty minutes later, I emerged from my room dressed for the day. Black pants, silk blouse, heels. Ready to face the world. Damien was waiting in the hallway.
“Noah’s watching cartoons.” He gestured to the living room. “Can we talk p>
“I have work—l”
“Please.” The word stopped me. “Five minutes p>
I crossed my arms. “Fine, five minutes p>
He led me to his study, closing the door behind us. The moment it clicked shut, I whirled on him.
“Last night” he began.
“Was you playing games with me,” I cut him off, my voice shaking with anger. “You beg me to come home, you put your hands all over me, you kiss my neck, you grab my ass, you work me up until I’m practically begging—and then you just stop? Tell me to go to bed like I’m a child p>
“I was trying to p>
“To what? Prove you have control? Show me you can make me want you whenever you feel like it?” I stepped closer, jabbing my finger at his chest. “Congratulations. Point made. You can still turn me on, you win p>
“That’s not what I was doing.” He caught my hand. “Aria, I stopped because”
“Because you wanted to humiliate me?” My voice cracked. “Make me feel like I was throwing myself at you? Like I was desperate p>
“No!” His grip tightened. “God, no. I stopped because I didn’t want you to wake up this morning and regret it. Didn’t want you to hate me more because I took advantage when you weren’t ready p>
“Don’t.” I yanked my hand away. “Don’t pretend you were being noble. If you were being noble, you wouldn’t have started anything in the first place p>
“You’re right.” The admission surprised me. “I shouldn’t have touched you. Shouldn’t have pushed but Aria—” His eyes blazed. “When you came home last night, when you stood there looking at me like that, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been dreaming about touching you again for weeks p>
“So you decided to tease me instead?” I laughed bitterly. “To see how far you could push before pulling away? Very mature, Damien p>
“I pulled away because I was about to lose control!” His voice rose to match mine. “Because five more seconds and I would have had you against that wall, and damn the consequences. And you deserved better than that. Better than me taking what I want p>
“Don’t tell me what I deserve!” I shoved at his chest. “Don’t act like you know what I want or need! You lost that right years ago p>
“I know I did!” He grabbed my arms, holding me in place. “I know I have no right to touch you, to want you, to even look at you. But I can’t help it. You’re all I think about. All I want p>
“Well, that’s your problem.” I tried to wrench away, but he held firm. “Not mine p>
“Isn’t it?” His eyes searched mine. “Because last night, you wanted me too. You moaned my name. You let me touch you, kiss you. You came home because I asked. So don’t pretend this is all one-sided p>
“Of course I wanted you!” The admission exploded from me. “I’m not made of stone! But that doesn’t mean I trust you! Doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you! It just means I’m weak p>
“You’re not weak.” His voice softened. “You’re the strongest person I know p>
“Then why do I keep letting you do this to me?” Tears burned my eyes. “Why do I keep coming back? Why can’t I just hate you and move on p>
“Because you loved me.” The words were gentle. “Even back then, when I was too blind to see it. You loved me, and those feelings don’t just disappear p>
“I never loved you!” The lie tasted bitter on my tongue. “It was just a contract! Just business p>
“Now who’s lying?” His thumbs stroked my arms. “You loved me, Aria. Even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I gave you nothing in return. And that’s what’s killing you—not that I hurt you, but that you cared enough for it to matter p>
“Stop.” Tears spilled over. “Just stop p>
“Why? Because the truth hurts?” He pulled me closer. “Because admitting you cared makes the betrayal worse p>
“Yes!” I wrenched away from him, my voice breaking. “Yes, it makes it worse! Because if I didn’t care, if it was just business, then what you did wouldn’t matter! But it wasn’t just business! Not to me p>
“I know.” His voice cracked. “God, Aria, I know. And that’s what kills me. That you loved me, and I threw it away. That you gave me everything, and I gave you nothing but pain p>
“You gave me Noah.” I wiped my eyes angrily. “That’s the only good thing that came from this disaster p>
“Not the only thing.” He moved closer again, cautious now. “Because now I know what I lost. Now I understand what I had and was too stupid to appreciate p>
“Understanding doesn’t change anything p>
“It changes everything.” He reached for me, and this time I didn’t pull away. “It means I won’t make the same mistake twice. It means I’ll fight for you with everything I have p>
“I don’t want you to fight for me!” I pushed at his chest weakly. “I want you to leave me alone! To let me move on p>
“You don’t mean that p>
“Yes, I do p>
“Then why are you still here?” His hand came up to cup my face. “Why are you in my arms instead of walking away? Why did you come home last night when you could have stayed with Lucas? Why did you press against me in the kitchen, make me so hard I could barely stand, if you want nothing to do with me p>
The raw honesty in his voice stole my breath. “Because I wanted you to suffer,” I whispered, but the words lacked conviction.
“Mission accomplished.” His smile was pained. “I’ve been suffering since the moment you walked away. And this morning? Feeling you against me, knowing you were doing it deliberately? That was the sweetest torture I’ve ever experienced p>
“You deserved it,” I said, but my voice was shaky.