Chapter 78
Lily POV
I was getting ready for bed when Hazel my wolf stirred within me.
“Kai, he’s here she informed me.
“That’s not possible,” I sighed, “He went home, what would he be doing outside my dormitory, it’s late p>
“Just check,” she insisted. “I can feel him p>
Drawing a long hiss, I pushed myself out of bed and walked to my window which had a bird’s-eye view of the entrance of my building. I was shocked when I saw him standing outside the building like he was a sentry.
Quickly, I rushed to my phone on the table, wondering whether he called me and I didn’t hear it ring but to my surprise, he hadn’t called either. Throwing on my clothes, I hurried downstairs. We met halfway.
His hair was dishevelled, and though his expression was as blank as ever, I could sense something was wrong.
“Kai,” I tried not to sound too surprised. “What are you doing here? You could have called me.” I turned to check the hallway hoping no one had stirred when they heard our voices.
“I needed to see you,” he said quietly. “Can we talk in your room p>
“Sure, let’s go,” I turned on my heels and started to my room. When we arrived, I stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. “What’s going on p>
He turned to face me, his expression going from the blank space it had been to conflicted. “Lily, I need to know. Are you ever going to choose me? Or am I just wasting my time p>
I stiffened; I hadn’t expected that at all.
“You came all the way to ask me that? It’s midnight, Kai. How badly did you want a response that you couldn’t wait until tomorrow p>
“Just answer the damned question,” he sighed. “I’m tired of waiting, hanging on a thread. I need to know. Do you know how painful it is to be here waiting endlessly, not knowing if you’d be chosen p>
I crossed my arms defensively. “Kai, it’s not that simple. To say the truth, I’ve been busy with a lot of things and haven’t found the time to think it through p>
“Are you kidding me?” he sighed running a hand through his hair. “What is hard about this?” he countered, his voice rising. “I’m your mate, Lily. And yet, you’re still holding onto your past, still leaving me in limbo. Do you have any idea how that feels p>
Annoyance surged through me. “And do you have any idea how hard this is for me? I didn’t ask for any of this, Kai! I didn’t ask for the bond, for my past to turn me into a mistrustful person. I’m trying to figure things out, but you’re not making it any easier p>
He took a step closer, his voice low and strained. “What am I supposed to do, Lily? Sit back and wait while you decide whether I’m good enough for you p>
“How about if I am good enough for you too?” I shot back, my voice trembling. “Am I ready to embrace all the responsibilities that come with being a Luna? The demands that follow it not to mention that you’re engaged to someone else p>
“Stop using my engagement to Briella as an excuse. You know I don’t want to be with her. I try to spend time with you and tell you everything so you can be at ease. It’s you I want, Lily and not Briella. Haven’t I told you in my words and actions p>
“I just want to be sure,” I cried. “And you pushing me like this isn’t helping p>
For a moment, we just stared at each other, the tension between us crackling like a live wire. Then, without warning, he closed the distance between us, his hands gripping my arms as he pulled me toward him.
“You’re what I want,” he said fiercely, his eyes boring into mine. “And I’m not going to give up on you p>
My breath hitched, my heart pounding as I searched his face. “Kai p>
Before I could finish, he kissed me, his lips crashing into mine with a desperation that left me breathless. For a moment, I resisted, my hands pushing against his chest I was too angry to want to be intimate with him.
But then something inside me gave way. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as I kissed him back with just as much intensity.
The kiss was messy, heated, full of all the frustration and longing we’d been holding back especially since we fought earlier this morning. We had been making out as usual and he tried to mark me. Not only was I not ready to bear his mark, but I couldn’t let him put his mark on me when he was still engaged to another woman.
Still, he didn’t want to see it from my point of view. He thought I was overreacting. But Kai didn’t understand that he was an Alpha and was required to make sacrifices for his pack even to his detriment. The tides may change tomorrow and he’d have to let me go and choose his pack.
I didn’t want to take chances.
His hand slid to my waist, pulling me flush against him as my fingers tangled in his hair. Time seemed to stand still, the world around us fading until there was nothing but the two of us and the want between us.
When we finally broke apart, both of us were breathing heavily. We rested our foreheads on each other. “I’m scared, Kai,” I admitted in a whisper, my voice trembling. “I don’t know if I can be what you need p>
He cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears I hadn’t realized were falling. “You don’t have to be perfect, Lily. I just need you to try. To trust me p>
I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch as my heart warred with my mind. I wasn’t ready to make a choice – not yet. But as I stood there in his arms, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t want to let him go either.
For now, that would have to be enough.