Chapter 80
ai POV
Since the confrontation I had with my mother, I couldn’t help but think about what she said that day.
The words “I don’t like seeing you hurt like you were before.” It has been ringing in my mind every single moment. The words have created a sense of unease within me and it didn’t help that Lily mentioned something like that a few days ago too. Something felt… incomplete.
What did she mean by that? Did her words hint at something I no longer remember? The more I thought of it, the more it made no sense at all and it felt as if I was chasing a shadow down.
I raked my hand through my hair, feeling frustrated. The thoughts have kept me up for a few days now. Deciding I was done with the emotional torture, I decided to seek answers and if there was one person who knew my family other than us, then it would be Healer Odin.
A few minutes later, I found myself at the pack’s hospital. I moved past the reception and went straight to Odin’s office ignoring his secretary who was asking me if I had an appointment. I knocked before pushing open the door.
Odin looked up, his piercing green eyes widening with surprise as he saw me. He rose to his feet immediately, flashing me a smile.
“Alpha Kai… you didn’t have to come here by yourself. I could have come to you if you wanted to be treated. Is everything alright? Are you fine?” He asked, his eyes roving all over my body.
I wasted no time with pleasantries. “I need to ask you something… Was there any time as a child that I completely lost my memories or something and I had to be treated for it or maybe something happened to me and it was so severe that it made my family worry p>
His brows knitted with concern but I didn’t miss how his expression shifted or the flicker of discomfort that suddenly settled over him. “What do you mean, Alpha? You grew up a healthy boy p>
“But there was a time I was so sick… when I was a teenager, I remember clearly and it’s like I’m having memory gaps p>
Guilt? Concern? Crossed his face.
“Gapss?” he asked carefully.
He knew something.
“Stop acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Odin. Tell me what happened, now that I’m still acting nicely p>
There was a long stretch of silence before he sighed, and looked at me with a pleading expression. “Alpha Kai, some stories are best left buried. There’s no need to dig into the past p>
“I wasn’t asking for permission,” I said with a quiet growl. “Tell me now p>
“It’s not that simple,” his gaze dropped to the floor.
“Make it simple, Odin,” I demanded although my voice wasn’t forceful.
He motioned for me to sit down before he began. “Alright, I’ll tell you what I can. When you were younger – around thirteen or so – you suffered a fell extremely ill, so much that no one thought you’d be able to survive it p>
“I fell extremely ill… I know I nodded “But what was the cause? Was I attacked by Rogues? Was it sickness or poisoning? Which was it p>
“Emotional trauma. You suffered a profound loss, someone important to you died and it made you suffer so much that you were in a coma for months. In the process of healing you, you lost those memories p>
“What?” I stared at him with surprise. “I lost my memories? What are you talking about? And who did I lose p>
Odin shook his head. “I don’t know the details. But I know it affected you deeply. You stopped eating, sleeping… even shifting. Your wolf became unstable and your body started to reject its instincts p>
My stomach churned with unease. “What happened then p>
“That’s where I came in,” he sighed. “Your mother asked me to treat you. With a few herbal medicines and other methods, we were able to bring you back to your old self but then you forgot. You woke up happy. At first, we thought it was your attempt to ease our hearts but then we discovered that you couldn’t really remember anything p>
“So, you’re saying that the treatment helped me in a way by erasing my memories p>
“We didn’t erase, Alpha,” he corrected softly. “We just buried it so they wouldn’t consume you p>
“Who gave the order to have my memories taken away?” I tried not to yell. “My mothers, the pack elders? How can you all do something to me and keep it away from me all these years p>
“You were a child, Alpha Kai,” He said with a pleading tone. “You were on the brink of losing yourself. We had no choice. We did what we had to save you p>
“Well, I’m not a child anymore. I want those memories back p>
Odin’s eyes widened with fear. “Alpha, it’s not that simple. Restoring memories that have been suppressed is risky. It could cause more harm than good p>
“I can handle myself, Odin. I just want to know the truth p>
He hesitated, his gaze searching my face. “Even if the truth brings you more pain p>
I nodded. “Even then p>
He sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Alpha but I can’t restore them. It’s beyond my expertise p>
I chuckled dryly. “You’re lying, Odin. If you can take them away, I’m sure you can also restore it p>
“I cannot Alpha, I mean it.” He said quietly avoiding my gaze.
“Odin!” I growled his name “I can tell when someone is lying. Don’t give me that story. Do it and do it now p>
Silence reigned in the room before he finally sighed, looking up at me. “Fine,” he muttered. “I can try. But I’m warning you – it may not work. And if it does, the memories could come back in fragmented pieces. Do you want to take that risk p>
“I’ll take the chance p>
He gestured for me to sit again. “This will take time,” he warned. “And it won’t be pleasant p>
I nodded, bracing myself. “Do it p>
A few minutes later, I lay on an examining table with a bright light on my face and my eyes tightly shut.
Odin hovered over me for a few seconds, burning herbs and chanting softly in his ancient tongue. My head throbbed and before long, the room began to spin beneath me, my vision swimming with fleeting images and sensations.
Just when I thought it would get worse, it stopped. I opened my eyes and I was in a field filled with bright sunflowers that swayed with the wind and then I heard a girl’s laughter followed by the scent of wildflowers. It tried to turn in the direction I’d heard the laughter but there was no one and then p>
Pain… overwhelming, suffocating pain.
I gasped, clutching at my heart as the images dissolved into darkness. When I opened my eyes again, Odin watched me with worry etched on his face which looked pale and strained.
“Alpha… you’re back.” He sighed with gratitude. “I’m sorry, it’s no use. The memories are too deeply buried p>
My chest heaved as I tried to steady my breathing. “I saw something,” I said quietly “Or rather, I heard something. The voice of a young girl, I didn’t see her face but I heard her voice and her scent p>
“That’s the fragments of memories I was telling you about. Without your full memory, you might never see her face p>
Later that night, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. My mind refused to be quiet. The warm laughter and scent I had seen and the blurry image of the form that was clearly a girl just as I was about to be pulled back into the world felt comforting and scary at the same time.
Who was she?
And why did losing her feel like the beginning of everything I’d forgotten?