Chapter 105
~ ROWAN
I sat in my mother’s painting chair all night, staring at her unfinished painting.
The night was loud, crickets chirping everywhere and guards howling at intervals to alert the others to their positions but even the noise could not drown out the storm that was raging inside of me.
For the first time in my life I did not want morning to come because I knew what it would bring. I would be forced to say goodbye to my mate, to allow her run off to a life without me.
I could not keep her here, that much I knew. I had already done so much to betray her trust that the least I could do was give her this. A few days away from me would either make or break us.
“I don’t agree,” my lycan grumbled inside of me. “She needs to be here, with us p>
“To what end? She will hate us forever p>
“She already hates us p>
“No, she does not p>
I saw it in her eyes when I touched her, the longing, the hurt. She was not angry, or at least, not as I originally thought she was. She was hurt, and betrayed and I hoped that a few days away would give her time to realize that I truly cared for her.
It was a gamble, but it was one I was willing to take.
“Eric will go with her,” I said after a long silence. “He will keep her safe. We can also have guards positioned in the town to keep an eye on her. She will be safe p>
“I do not like this p>
“I will not pretend like I enjoy it either, but we have to do this right… for her p>
He grumbled under his breath before slamming the wall between us shut. I did not expect him to understand the mechanics of relationships. He was more beast than person but for now he obliged me and that was more than enough.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because when suddenly I was jerked awake by a terrible dream of Nyssa leaving me forever. I woke with a gasp, the remnants of the dream clinging to my subconscious.
I itched to find Nyssa and pull her into my arms but I could not imagine that it would go over well with her at the moment so I remained seated, staring out at the night sky.
The birds had gone quiet, so had the crickets.
My mother always used to say that it was a bad sign if nature went still. She claimed they could sense trouble before we did. Perhaps they could sense that my mating was in trouble.
“You need rest. You are turning into a poet,” my lycan chided. “The work in the palace never stops p>
I sighed, rising to my feet. “No, it does not p>
It took everything in me to walk past Nyssa’s room and not glance in to check on her. I had to respect her privacy if I wanted things to go in my favor.
I barely slept for the most part. I spent most of my time staring up at my ceiling, conjuring up the worst ways that her little tryst might end. By the time the sun rose in the morning, exhaustion weighed deep in my bones but I forced myself out of bed.
I waited in the dining room for her to appear but she never did
“I don’t think she is coming today,” Aria said softly, after noticing me glance towards the door for the millionth time. “She likes to self-isolate when things happen. Surely you must have noticed that by now p>
I had noticed it. “We met last night. We were supposed to talk this morning. I assumed… she seemed insistent on leaving. I thought she would want to get that settled quickly p>
Aria’s head snapped over to me so fast I could have sworn I heard her neck make a sound. “She wants to leave p>
I nodded tightly. “She said she needs time away. I said I would think it over p>
Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. “Were you going to say yes p>
I merely shrugged.
“You are joking, right?” she asked, sputtering. “Were you really going to let her go p>
“Not completely, no, but I was going to give her time. It is the least I could do after everything p>
Aria stared at me like I had grown a third head. She blinked rapidly, even going as far as to rub her hands over her eyes.
“I do not know what to say,” she murmured. “I for sure thought that p>
She did not get the chance to finish because the doors to the dining room opened. My heart raced in my chest and I sat up straighter, only to frown dejectedly when a maid walked in through the doors instead of Nyssa.
Her brown hair was braided over her shoulder and her lips were presse3d into a firm line as she made her way into the room.
She bowed low. “I apologize for interrupting, Your Majesty.” She turned to Aria. “There seems to be a problem p>
“Is everything okay, Leah p>
“I do not think Miss. Nyssa slept in her room last night p>
My brows furrowed in immediate confusion. “Of course she did. I saw her last night, right outside her room doors. When I walked away, she was there p>
“I do not doubt that, Your Majesty, but her bed is made and her closet is… well, some things are missing from inside of it. I cannot find her anywhere around the palace and none of the maids I asked seem to have seen her since yesterday morning p>
Panic clawed at my throat, a rare feeling. It felt like bitter acid running down the back of my mouth and into my gut.
I heard the insinuation, but I shook my head, refusing to believe it. She would not have left, not after our talk yesterday.
“She must be here somewhere,” I declared finally. “Take me to her room p>