Chapter 153
~ NYSSA
My hands shook as I pulled the bag into my lap, staring intently at the things, wondering which to reach for box.
I found myself reaching for the box first. Thankfully, it was just a clasp and did not require a password. I flipped it open and my mouth dropped when I saw debit cards inside and bundles of money all wrapped in clear wrapping.
“What the hell?” I whispered.
I’d never seen so much cash before in my life.
I didn’t grow up poor, not by a long shot, but we also weren’t crazy wealthy. We didn’t have the vacations that some of the other families had, and I didn’t think my parents had money and credit cards lying around the house.
“I take it you’ve never seen those cards before,” Rowan noted and I shook my head. “Is there any explanation inside? Any note as to what they are for p>
“No p>
“There might be an explanation in the journal p>
I stared at the leather bound book with apprehension. “The last time someone read from a leather bound journal, I found out that you killed my parents and I ended up kidnapped p>
He winced in his seat, his lips pressing into a thin line.
My words were not meant to hurt him, but I couldn’t bring myself to apologize, not when a war was currently going on inside of me and I was unsure of whether I wanted to continue or just stop it entirely.
“You want the answers, Nyssa,” he said softly. “Just go for it p>
I took in a deep breath, calming my racing heart before reaching for the journal. It was heavier than I thought it would be and despite not being touched in years, it still looked neat.
I opened the first page and a wave of emotion crashed into me when I saw the writing. I recognized it instantly as my dad’s.
He had the neatest cursive I’d ever seen. I was always so jealous of it.
I swallowed thickly as I turned the first page.
Nyssa, if you are seeing this then it means that we are dead.
I slammed the book shut instantly.
“What is it?” Rowan asked, glancing over at me with concern. “Is something wrong p>
“It’s for me p>
He glanced at me, then at the journal in my hands. “What does it say p>
“I haven’t read it, I can’t do this. I really… fuck p>
The journal fell from my hands, hitting the floor of the car with a thud and Rowan cursed.
In a flash, he pulled the car to a stop on the side of the road, turning off the engine as he turned to face me.
“What are you doing?” I hissed. “It is night time, and we are in the middle of nowhere. We could be attacked p>
He snorted. “I would like to see anyone stupid enough to attack a convoy of lycans. Where is the journal p>
“Leave it, Rowan p>
He ignored me.
He looked around until his eyes snagged on the leather journal on the ground between my legs and without a word, he reached over and picked it up, his arms brushing against the insides of my thighs.
Subconsciously, my legs squeezed together, trapping his hands there.
His brows rose in amusement but I did not miss the flash of heat in them. “As much as I would love to be between your thighs right now, this is more important p>
With his other hand, he pried my legs apart and retrieved the book.
I couldn’t help but note that the other car had stopped as well but they didn’t get out of the car.
“Rowan, please, just drop this and let’s go home. We can do this later, okay p>
“I would do that if I thought that’s what you wanted, but it isn’t, is it?” he held my eyes captive and I couldn’t lie, even if I wanted to. “Would you like me to read it to you p>
I scoffed, turning away from him. “This is absurd p>
He didn’t try to convince me, he dint even repeat his question, he just stayed silent, journal in hand as he waited for me to find the words.
I didn’t even realize when my eyes began to well with tears. I tried to force them back, ignoring the huge knot that formed in my throat as I fiddled with my hands in my lap, forcing air into my lungs.
“Nyssa, if you’re reading this then it means that we are dead p>
“Stop it, Rowan,” I hissed but he did not stop.
“It also means that you have questions. The answers are here, every bit of it, and I want you to know that we love you no matter what. I want you to remember that as you learn the truth p>
“Please,” my voice cracked.
I wasn’t sure if I was asking him to stop or to keep going.
“We were not terrible people, Nyssa. Our line of business is unusual, but that doesn’t make us horrible. We didn’t give those kids to bad people, we didn’t ruin their lives. We helped them. Every one of them is loved and cared for. We took them from monsters and gave them to people who needed them. At least, that’s what we thought we were doing p>
He paused for a moment and I could feel his eyes on me as he continued.
“We learned that some people were using fake covers. We tried to get to the bottom of it but it runs deeper than we thought. Sometimes you get into a hole and don’t realize how deep it is until you cannot get out. We were in too deep and if we had said anything, they would have taken you from us. We couldn’t let that happen p>
The tears were free falling at this point and I could not stop them. I let my head rest against the cold window, my breath fogging up the glass as I tried to breathe.
“You may not have been ours biologically, but that does not mean that you are not ours. And if you came here searching for your answers for your true family Rowan trailed off, his words faltering.
I turned to him. “What does it say p>
He searched my face, jaw tightening at the sight of my tears. “Don’t worry about it p>
“For fucks sake, you force me to listen and now you want to stop?” I snatched the journal from his hands, ignoring his protests as I began reading through until I got to the point where he stopped.
My blood ran cold at the last words in the journal.
I flipped the pages, desperately searching for more, but there was nothing. The journal was fucking empty!
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I hissed, reading the last words over again. Even in their death, they were pulling the strings. “Fuck this p>
“Nyssa p>
“I want to go home, Rowan, now!” I snapped.