Chapter 63
~ NYSSA
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I wasn’t sure if that was the word I’d use to describe the palace but I was far too tired to argue.
Rowan carried me through the dimly lit palace halls, one hand wrapped firmly around my back and the other under my knees.
A part of me wanted to be put down, but the other more sentimental side of me wanted to enjoy it for as long as possible. With Rowan there was no way to tell when the switch would flip and he’d resort to being an ass again.
“You’re staring at me,” he drawled, not even bothering to look at me.
My cheeks heated and I quickly looked away, but his chest wasn’t a much better option.
The first few buttons were undone revealing a very toned, very scarred expanse of skin. The scars disappeared under his clothes and against my better judgment, I reached out, a finger hovering over his skin.
His breath caught in his throat, his heart racing under my touch and I quickly snatched my hand back.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I shouldn’t have p>
“It’s fine,” he ground out, his voice a bit harsher than usual.
I briefly wondered if I’d upset him or crossed a line, but I didn’t get the chance to ask because he stopped in front of a pair of double doors. It looked different from the last time I was here and when he opened the door, I realized it was different.
“Where are we?” I asked, taking in the new room.
It was roughly the same size as the last one but the bed was bigger and the walls were a deep beige color. The sheets were black and there was an untouched vanity in the corner of the room, right next to a large table that had documents stacked high on it.
A small fireplace was opposite the bed and in front of it was a bean bag and an arm chair.
Every inch of it screamed of pristine luxury.
The further we got into the room, the more Rowan’s scent enveloped me and for a moment, I thought it was because I was in his arms. However, once he gently deposited me on the bed, I realized it wasn’t coming from him… it was everywhere.
It was on the sheets, it was in the air.
“Where am I?” I asked.
His didn’t respond at first. Instead, he sat at the edge of the bed and reached for my foot.
I jerked it back, leveling him with a hard glare. “Answer me p>
He sighed. “Your room p>
I shook my head. “I remember what my room looked like. This isn’t it p>
He looked up at me, his expression equal parts bored and exasperated. “This is your new room p>
“Then why does it smell like you p>
“Because it is mine as well p>
I already knew the answer, but hearing it from his mouth felt like a punch in the gut.
I took in the room again, searching for anything that made it explicitly his, but there was none. There were no pictures, no articles of clothing. It was too perfect.
“If I’m here, where are you going to sleep p>
He stared at me like I’d grown another head. “Here of course p>
“I’m not sleeping in the same room as you, Rowan,” I told him plainly. “I don’t even know you p>
“You don’t need to, we are mates p>
I scoffed. “That’s rich. You haven’t even acknowledged the mate bond.” He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. “If you say anything about kissing me, I swear I will lose my fucking mind p>
He shut his lips immediately, a deep frown forming between his brows.
I ran my fingers through my hair with a sigh, wondering how the fuck I’d ended up in this situation when three months ago my life was fucking perfect.
I stood to my feet, swaying a little from exhaustion.
Rowan reached out to me to steady me, but I levelled him with a hard glare.
“I need another room p>
“There is no other room,” he said simply. “You will sleep here. We are mates p>
“I am not going to sleep with you p>
“And why the fuck not p>
“Because you don’t get to pick and choose when you want this to work for you!” I screamed, unable to stop myself. “You don’t get to push me away then play the hero and expect that it will make me bend over backwards p>
He went silent instantly, his face returning to a carefully neutral mask as he watched me.
I waited for him to speak, but he didn’t. Instead, he watched me, as if waiting for me to continue so I did.
“I don’t trust you, Rowan,” I told him softly. “I don’t know that you won’t wake up tomorrow and change your mind. I don’t know that in two days you won’t throw me out of your bed and ask me to leave. I’m not going to put in my all just to have you decide you don’t want it later. I can’t stay here p>
I finished my rant with a sigh and for a long minute, he didn’t speak. He sat there watching me, eyes locked intensely with mine.
I shuffled on my feet, heart pounding with nerves as I twiddled my fingers in front of me.
“There is another room next door,” he said finally. “I can ask a maid to clean it for you p>
I was surprised that he’d agreed so easily, especially when it wasn’t what he wanted but I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“I’d appreciate that, thank you p>
He stood to his feet, clearing his throat as he looked anywhere but at me. “You can rest here for a while. I’ll return to get you when the room is clean p>
He didn’t give me a chance to respond before walking out of the room and to be honest, I was surprised that he left me in his space without supervision.
I so terribly wanted to snoop. The surface of the room told me nothing.
However, I was too exhausted for that.
I sat upright in the bed, marveling at how soft it was. I sank into it like butter on bread.
I closed my eyes, only for a second. I must have underestimated just how tired I was because the next thing I knew, I was out like a light.