Chapter 160
“But what if it does happen?” she echoes. “You’re telling me that after everything, after all these years, you don’t feel anything for him? Even a tiny bit p>
“I got over the love I had for him, Lilly.” I say quietly, forcing the words out even though they scrape against something raw inside me.
There is nothing but scars and pain where my love for him used to be… But what did I expect? Love doesn’t remain the same after years of being hurt. It eventually dies, and what remains is a phantom ghost.
Do I resent Noah? Sometimes I do, but more than anything I resent myself for holding on for so long, giving him chance after chance to hurt me.
Lilly’s expression softens, but her next words hit harder than I expect. “If that’s true, then why are you carrying his baby p>
My breath catches. It’s something I didn’t want to think about, and I hate that Lilly is bringing it up.
She doesn’t stop there. “Why did you end up in bed with him, Sierra p>
I close my eyes, shaking my head. “It was a mistake p>
Lilly arches an eyebrow. “A mistake p>
“Yes,” I insist. “We were both high, you know this. We didn’t know what the hell we were doing. It was like any other drunken mistake, Lilly. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean we’ll end up together p>
I had not been with anyone in a long time, and the same probably applied to him. That combined with being high was already a recipe for disaster.
The room falls quiet. Lilly just sits there, studying me in that way she does when she’s trying to see past my words and into the parts of me I try to hide.
After a long moment, she says softly, “Just think about this, okay? Don’t let something like this slip away. Don’t close your heart completely. Maybe, just maybe, this is a chance in disguise.” 4
I look at her, exhaustion settling heavy in my chest. I’m tired of her bringing this up. She used to push me to move on. Even arranged different blind dates. I don’t know why she’s all of a sudden fixated on me getting together with Noah.
“I’m not about to compete with another woman for his love, Lilly p>
I already did that once, and it left me broken and defeated. I learned my lesson the hard way. I’m not about to make the same mistake.
Lilly frowns. “What are you talking about? Who are you talking about p>
I let out a bitter laugh. “Brook,” I say simply. “She’s in love with Noah… And from what I gathered, she’s loved him for a long time p>
Lilly’s eyes widen in shock. “What the fuck p>
“She was probably in love with him way before Chloe died,” I continue, my voice flat. “And after everything that happened. I’m convinced she’s behind what happened to me p>
“What do you mean, behind what happened p>
I tell her everything.
Brook’s reaction when I arrived yesterday, the way her smile didn’t reach her eyes. The cutting words, the subtle threats, and then today. How she looked at me with that same venom before warning me again.
When I finish, Lilly’s expression has shifted from disbelief to fury. “That bitch,” she breathes, her fists clenching. “There’s no way Noah would fall for her p>
I shake my head slowly. “Never say never. That’s what we thought years ago, remember? And how did that turn out p>
We thought he’d never fall for Chloe. That Chloe wasn’t his type. They weren’t even friends and Noah ignored her like he ignored me, but then something happened. The impossible happened. He fell madly in love with her and ended up marrying her.
Lilly goes quiet. I can see the thoughts racing behind her eyes, but for once, she doesn’t argue.
Silence stretches between us, filled with old memories neither of us wants to touch.
Finally, I sigh and rub my fingers against Blackie’s fur.
“Right now, my focus is my baby,” I whisper. “That’s all that matters. I have no desire to fight for Noah. The way he hurt me before, I can’t risk that ever happening again.” 1
Lilly stares at me for a moment, her eyes shining with something like sadness or maybe pity.
If Brook wants Noah, she can have him. I’m not going to fight for a man that has hurt me over and over again. What I won’t allow is Brook targeting me and my baby because she believes that for her to get what she wants, she has to get me out of the way.
I refuse to let history repeat itself.