Chapter 346
NOAH.
The words Sierra threw at me a few days ago are still lodged in my chest like a splinter I can’t pull out no matter how hard I try.
I watched her walk away and she didn’t look back. Not even once.
When she said Adrian made her happy, it felt like something inside me was being shredded apart and when she said I ruined that happiness, it felt like she reached into my chest and ripped out everything, leaving me hollow.
I thought the pain I felt when Chloe died was unbearable, but it’s nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to realizing the damage I inflicted on a woman I once claimed to love.
Watching her walk back into her house, I knew there was nothing I could say. No apology could erase the scars I left on her heart. No plea could undo the years of pain, neglect, and cruelty.
Sierra was right. I wasn’t just a fool but a coward and a hypocrite.
I chose Chloe’s fire, a destructive inferno that burned everything in its path while ignoring Sierra’s love. A love that had been steady, warm and real.
I could blame Chloe’s lies and manipulation but the truth is, I was just as guilty. Chloe may have handed me the gun but I was the one who loaded it and pulled the trigger.
I didn’t just lose Sierra in high school or in university. I lost her every single time I chose Chloe over her. Every time I believed a lie. Every time I turned into someone she didn’t deserve. I lost her through a thousand small betrayals across the eighteen years we’ve known each other.
A waiter carrying dozens of trays nearly crashes into me, but I barely notice because I’ve been moving through life in a haze, barely registering anything around me. Even with the twins, I had to leave them with Mom because I couldn’t be present. I’m too lost in the storm I created to be the father they need.
That’s the thing about regret. It’s not just an emotion; it’s a beast with teeth and claws and it feeds on you from the inside, leaving nothing behind.
“Noah p>
I look up to find Dad standing in front of me, his brows drawn together, concern etched into his face.
I try to speak. To say something, anything, but the words won’t come. It’s like my voice has been stripped from me.
As if understanding, he grips my shoulders and steers me toward his study.
The house is alive with movement with staff rushing around, preparing for Mom’s birthday ball tonight, but I barely register any of it.
The sharp sound of the door slamming shut is what finally pulls me back. My eyes drift around the room before settling on Dad. He stands in front of me now, watching me closely, his gaze heavy with concern.
“I recognize that look,” he says quietly.
For a moment, I don’t speak as I try fighting the crushing sense of helplessness. The feeling of drowning in murky waters I dug for myself.
“I lost her,” I whisper, the sound foreign to my own ears.
I lost her every time I chose Chloe’s manufactured drama. Every time I condemned her without proof. Every time I chose to hurt her. Every time I saw the flicker of pain in her eyes and chose to ignore it anyway.
I chose the lies because it was easier, and because of that I’ve lost her. Not just because she finally gave up on me but because she moved on to someone better.
I know Adrian. He’s not the kind of man who gives up on what he wants. When he gets past the doubt, and trust me, he will, he’ll come for her. He’ll fight for her and from what I saw, from the way she spoke about him, I don’t stand a chance of winning against him.