Chapter 248
It doesn’t help. Nothing I say or do seems capable of making them accept that I can’t stay, no matter how much they want me to.
I swallow hard and reach into my bag.
“I have something for you p>
I pull out two small velvet boxes.
Nova sniffles as I open the first one. Inside lies the diamond necklace Noah bought at the auction.
I’d thought long and hard about what to do with it. I knew I didn’t want it, but I also couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, not with how much it cost… And then it hit me, who better to give it to than Nova?
Her eyes widen as she stares at the necklace, its beauty momentarily stealing her breath.
“I want you to have this,” I tell her softly. “If you ever miss me, you can wear it and it’ll be like I’m right there with you p>
She reaches out, touching the diamond with reverent fingers, awe flickering through her tears.
Then I open the second box. Inside is a sleek, understated watch with a deep blue face and a silver casing.
“And this is for you, Nolan” I say to Nolan. “I saw it and thought of you. If you ever miss me, wear it. It’ll help you feel closer to me p>
He stares at it, his lips trembling.
I turn both items over.
“See?” I whisper.
Their names are engraved neatly on the back. It cost me an arm and a leg but it was fucking worth it.
Nova sobs again, and Nolan follows.
I pull them both into me, holding them as tightly as I can. “You can call me anytime,” I promise. “And you can come visit me p>
“I don’t want you to leave,” Nova cries.
I don’t say anything because there are no words left. Nothing I say or do will make this easier. Nothing will make it better. So instead, I lie back on the bed with them, tuck them close, and begin to sing a lullaby my mother used to sing to me.
I don’t know how much time passes before their breathing evens out. They fall asleep clutching me, as if holding on will keep me from leaving.
Carefully, I slip out from between them. Only then do I allow the tears to fall because I don’t want to leave them either.
I place the velvet boxes on the bedside table, hoping they’ll see them, just as Noah steps into the room.
“I’m ready,” I whisper.
He nods, even though his stare is hard and cold.
I gently pull the covers over the twins, kiss their foreheads, and whisper a silent goodbye.
Seeing the dried tear tracks on their cheeks destroys me, shattering my already broken heart into tiny pieces that cut straight into my soul.
I linger beside them, my feet refusing to move. My breath comes fast and uneven as I fight myself, because every inch of me is screaming not to leave.
Finally, after what feels like ages, I turn, pick up Blackie’s cage, and walk out.
The entire drive is silent, my heart and mind still in that guest room, where two beautiful children sleep.
It feels like I’ve carved a piece of my heart out. No matter how hard I try, I can’t understand why I feel so hollow inside. I knew leaving them would hurt but I never imagined it would feel like ripping my own heart out.
I’m so lost in thought that I don’t even realize we’ve arrived until Noah speaks.
“We’re here p>
He helps me unload my bags. When everything is inside, he turns to leave but then stops.
“You gave Nova the necklace p>
I nod. “It was inappropriate for you to buy it for me, so I decided to give it to her instead. She’s far more deserving of it p>
He nods, his expression unreadable.
“Thank you,” I say, ready to put an end to whatever still lingers between us. “But after this, I hope our paths never cross again p>
Something flickers in his eyes. It’s too quick to name but I don’t wait to understand it.
“Goodbye, Noah,” I say, and close the door knowing that goodbye wasn’t just for today. It was for the past, for everything that happened between us, for everything that ever was, and everything that never could be.