Chapter 221
Her words settle heavy in my chest. I don’t say anything because, fuck it, that truth hurts more than anything else she could’ve said.
I may have healed. I may have let go and chosen to move forward but what if, subconsciously, I’m still that girl who pined over him? The girl that was afraid to rock the boat too hard because she didn’t want to piss him off. Because I was a doormat, and I had no fucking backbone to tell him no.
“You know what psychologists say,” she continues, eyes still fixed on the road. “That some of our behaviors are driven by our subconscious. How we think and how we act is often influenced by things we don’t even realize. I think that’s what’s happening with you p>
She says it calmly, like she’s stating a fact, not accusing me.
“When did you go from Vice CEO to psychologist?” I ask with a nervous laugh.
She flicks me a look. “I know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t change the subject p>
The thought unsettles me because if she’s right, then some part of me is still attached to Noah. Some part of me hasn’t fully healed and I hate that more than anything.
“Let me ask you something,” she says quietly, hands steady on the wheel. “Aside from Noah’s objections, what’s really stopping you from telling everyone the truth p>
I sigh. “I thought this was supposed to be an outing to relax me. Not a full-on therapy session p>
She glares at me briefly before refocusing on the road. “Answer the question, Sierra p>
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
“I don’t know,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper as I open my eyes again. “Maybe because I’m ashamed.” I swallow. “I mean, who’s stupid enough to sleep with a man who hates her and then end up pregnant p>
“It could be that,” she says gently. “Or a combination of both p>
Silence settles between us again until she breaks it a few seconds later.
“Look,” she says, softer now, “All I’m trying to say is that you don’t owe Noah anything. If you want our families to know, then tell them. You don’t have to lie for him p>
“What if they try to force things?” I ask quietly. “What if they try to push us into marriage or something p>
Lilly scoffs. “After what happened to Aunt Ava and Uncle Rowan, do you really think they’d do that to their son p>
My chest tightens. When Aunt Ava was eighteen, she accidentally got pregnant after spending the night with Uncle Rowan. Her adoptive parents forced them into marriage to provide a ‘stable home’ for the baby… That baby was Noah.
“They were miserable for nine years,” Lilly continues. “Nine years of a marriage that should never have happened.” She glances at me briefly. “Do you honestly think they’d want two people they love to go through the same thing p>
Now, thinking about it with a clearer mind, I hear what she’s saying.
They would never force us together for the sake of a child. Not when they know exactly how that story ends. They lived it. Noah doesn’t love me. He hates me, and forcing us into a marriage would only breed resentment and misery.
It would be history repeating itself all over again.
I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I’d been holding. “No,” I murmur. “They wouldn’t p>
“Then think long and hard about what you want,” she says gently. “Personally, I think you should tell everyone. They deserve to know p>
Once again, she’s the voice of reason. The steady presence that finally makes me stop fighting the truth I’ve been circling for so long.
My child deserves to know his grandparents.
I know they’d still be part of his life even if I stayed silent but not in the same way. Not fully, anyway. They wouldn’t be real grandparents in the way that matters.
So maybe, just maybe, I should consider telling them the truth. Not only because I’m exhausted from hiding. Not only because I’m tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop but also because it’s the right thing to do.