Chapter 394
“A part of me kept hoping that one day he would show up, but as Sierra grew and there was still nothing from him, I stopped hoping, and waiting around… I shoved the pain deep down and just focused on raising Sierra.” Mom continues, her voice soft, but a little bit distant.
Aunt Harper takes a slow breath once Mom is done, like she’s trying to steady herself before speaking.
“You know,” she says gently, “when Lilly first introduced Sierra to us, I remember thinking she looked so familiar. There was something about her that I couldn’t quite place at the time but no matter how much I tried, I never really connected the pieces, but now I see it so clearly. She’s the perfect mix of you and Andrew and I think that’s why I couldn’t immediately recognize how much she reminded me of him p>
“I know,” Mom says quietly “Her eyes and smile reminded me so much of him and sometimes it was hard looking at her, knowing what I believed he had done to me, knowing how much I thought he had hurt me p>
Aunt Harper reaches out and takes her hand, squeezing it gently. “But you have to know he never hurt you… Based on the timeline, Andrew had already passed by the time Sierra was born. Which means he didn’t leave because he wanted to. He disappeared because his illness was getting worse and he probably never told you because he didn’t want to see you hurting p>
The room falls silent as her words sink in.
“He had cancer, and by that point it had already progress,” she adds quietly. “He was in so much pain and there were days he could barely get out of bed, but sometimes he would insist, saying he had things he needed to do. At the time, we didn’t understand why but now it makes sense. Now I know who he was trying to get back to p>
Mom’s breath catches, and the tears fall harder. I’ve never seen her like this before. Never seen her so completely broken.
“Knowing this makes it even more painful because he hid it from me. He didn’t give the chance to be there for him” Mom’s voice trembles, “I could have been by his side. I could have taken care of him, loved him through it but he made that decision for me. All I ever wanted was him. Even if he was sick, even if there was nothing the doctors could do, I would have stayed. I would have been there with him until the very end p>
Her voice breaks completely now and fresh tears fall down her face. “I loved him so much and I would have been there every step of the way. I would have held his hand. I would have told him everything was going to be okay. I would have kissed him one last time and said goodbye properly p>
Tears blur my vision as I try to blink them away, but they fall anyway. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s feeling. All her life, she believed he abandoned her, and now she’s learning that he didn’t leave, he just couldn’t stay.
“He wasn’t alone in the end, I was there with him,” Aunt Harper whispers softly. “I was holding his hand, and right before he died, he whispered three words. At the time, they didn’t make any sense and I was grieving too much to even think about them but now they do”
She pauses, sniffing, tears falling down her cheeks.
“He struggled to say them,” Aunt Harper continues, her voice unsteady. “But I remember hearing an ‘I’… and a ‘V’… and then ‘love you.’ Thinking back, I believe he was trying to say your name and to tell you that he loved you p>
Hearing that and knowing that even in the end, he was still thinking about her, Mom finally breaks completely. It’s so raw and uncontrollable, almost like every bit of pain she’s been carrying, burying for years finds its way out.
I sit there, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to help. I watch as the truth unravels everything she thought she knew. Watch as decades of hurt, anger, and misunderstanding come crashing down all at once as it finally sinks in that he abandoned her. That he never stopped loving her.