Chapter 331
I drag a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly.
“I just… needed to see you,” I admit, my voice rough.
Her expression doesn’t soften. If anything, it hardens.
“You’ve seen me,” she says flatly. “Now you can leave p>
The words land like a punch to the gut because I deserve that. I deserve worse.
“I know I don’t have the right to be here,” I continue, forcing the words out before I lose whatever courage I scraped together to come. “I know that but I needed to say this to your face p>
She doesn’t respond, just stands there, watching me like she’s bracing herself for something.
“I was wrong,” I say, the words heavy, scraping on their way out. “About everything. About you… about the past… about the baby p>
Her jaw tightens at that, but she stays silent.
“I let lies dictate how I treated you,” I go on, my chest tightening. “And even after everything, I kept hurting you. I kept choosing the wrong side. I kept—” I cut myself off, swallowing hard. “I kept failing you p>
Silence stretches between us. The kind that presses in on your chest and makes it hard to breathe.
“I’m not here to ask for anything,” I add quickly. “I know I don’t deserve that. I just… I needed you to know that I see it now. I see everything I did to you and I’m so fucking sorry that I hurt you.
Her fingers tighten slightly over her bump.
“You think finding out Chloe lied fixes it? You think saying sorry magically makes everything okay?” she continues, her voice steady. “You think that erases what you said? What you did p>
Each word lands like it’s meant to. Like a blow to my fucking chest.
“You said sorry yesterday… you said sorry today and frankly speaking, I’m tired of hearing that fucking word because it means nothing Noah… Absolutely NOTHING p>
That stings. More than anything, but I also understand what she’s saying. “Sorry” is just a word and anyone can say it. It’s not enough to undo years’ worth of damage.
“I know,” I whisper, the word barely audible to my own ear.
“No, you don’t,” she snaps, and for a second, the anger flashes through. “Because if you really did, you wouldn’t be standing here forcing a conversation like this, expecting it to fix something p>
“I’m not trying to fix it,” I say quickly. “I know I can’t p>
“Then what are you trying to do?” she fires back. “Enlighten me because for the love of all babies around the world, I just don’t understand p>
“I just didn’t want to leave things like this… with you hating me,” I finally admit and a humorless laugh leaves her.
“Hate?” she repeats softly. “I don’t hate you, Noah p>
Relief tries to rise, but it dies before it fully forms.
“Hatred would mean you still matter enough for me to feel something that strong,” she continues. “I’m just done p>
There it is and it’s so much worse because honestly, I would have preferred if she hated me. If she detested me and wished all kinds of misfortunes on me… but being done with me feels like my heart has been put through a grinder, leaving nothing but a useless piece of flesh.
My chest feels like it’s caving in. Like it’s shutting down.
“I understand,” I say, even though it feels like I’m choking on the words.
She studies me for a moment. “I don’t think you do, and that’s the problem p>
I stare at her through my lashes, even as breathing suddenly becomes hard.
“Until you understand the full scope of what Chloe did,” she says slowly, “you will never understand what you and her put me through p>
Uneasiness settles deep inside me at her words.
“What does that mean?” I ask.
But she just steps back, putting space between us.
“Figure it out p>
With that, she closes the door in my face, leaving me wondering what else I’ve been blind to.