Chapter 181
It’s subtle, barely noticeable to anyone else, but I feel it. The quiet inhale he takes. The way his arm pauses in midair for half a second longer than it should. Almost like the jolt hit him too.
My heart stumbles painfully in my chest, and suddenly the kitchen feels too small, too warm, and too charged.
Noah moves away first. He slowly pulls his arm back before setting Nova’s plate down with a heavy exhale. He grabs a third plate, stacks pancakes on it, and then moves toward me again.
He holds the plate out.
“I’m okay,” I say quickly, lifting my hands. “I’ll eat after my walk p>
He frowns. “You should eat something p>
“I will,” I insist. “Just not right now p>
Nolan looks between us. “Why don’t you want pancakes? Dad makes the best pancakes p>
“I just want to eat after my walk,” I repeat gently.
Nova leans into me. “Can you stay with us until we finish p>
I hesitate. My eyes instinctively flick to Noah. He’s watching me, his eyes glued to me, but he doesn’t say anything. Just watches me in that intrusive way.
“Please,” Nolan adds.
I don’t want to stay. I don’t want this awkward, tight, strange atmosphere. And I sure as hell don’t want to sit here pretending everything is normal.
But I also can’t say no to Nova’s hopeful eyes.
“Okay,” I say softly. “I can stay for a bit p>
Nova beams. Nolan grins and I sit between them while they eat.
Noah leans against the counter, one ankle crossed over the other, sipping his coffee in silence. He doesn’t join in the conversation, but he responds when the kids try to pull him in.
His voice is low and he looks detached and maybe disinterested but every time I glance at him, without meaning to, I find his eyes already on me… And each time, I look away first. I hate the way it makes something in my stomach twist.
The kids finish breakfast and jump down from their chairs. Nolan grabs his bag and Nova gives me a tight hug, nearly squeezing the air out of me.
“See you later p>
“Have a great day, you two,” I murmur.
Noah rounds the counter and gives them each a hug. I stand awkwardly behind, unsure whether I should slip out now or wait. The twins call out goodbye again, and then they dash out of the kitchen.
He stands there for a while and doesn’t move, his back facing me.
I turn, desperate for air but as I’m about to leave, he moves slightly.
“Sierra p>
I stop and slowly face him.
He looks like he wants to say something but the moment our eyes meet, he freezes. His jaw clenches and his hand twitches at his side.
“…Never mind p>
Something deflates in his eyes, and he looks away before taking a slow sip of coffee.
I swallow before whispering. “Okay p>
I walk out. Blackie follows at my heels, tail swishing as if none of the tension has affected her in any way. It probably hasn’t.
The moment the cool air outside hits my skin, I inhale deeply. It feels like a noose has been lifted and I can finally breathe again.
I walk farther down the path, letting my pulse settle, letting the estate’s peaceful quiet swallow some of the tension clinging to me. Still, I can’t stop wondering about everything. Last night. This morning. That accidental brush. The way his voice softened for half a second before he stopped himself.
What the hell was happening?
I finally stop under one of the tall trees and pull out my phone. I don’t have the answers and instead of overthinking, I might as well distract myself with my phone.
That’s when I notice one unread message… Frome Adrian and it was sent last night, way after I’d already fallen asleep.
Shakily, I open it.
[Hey Sierra. I hope you’re resting properly tonight. If you’re free tomorrow evening… would you still like to grab that coffee?] 4
The coldness from minutes ago disappears as warmth blooms through me before I can stop it and it cuts through the confusion Noah always stirs in me.
I stare at the message for a long time.
Maybe this is exactly what I need. Something good. Something without history and Without pain. Something that will finally help me put Noah where he has always belonged. In the past… I exhale and with my thumb hovering over the screen, I finally reply, accepting his invite. 5