Chapter 271
You know that thing some men do where they wait until you’re invested, until you’re hooked, and then they start to pull away? That’s exactly what I thought he was doing.
I sigh.
“I’ve tried to be patient,” I continue, my voice steady even though my chest tightens. “But it’s starting to feel like maybe we should end things… Maybe giving us a chance was a mistake p>
“Don’t say that… That’s not it p>
“Then what is it?” I ask.
He exhales slowly, like he’s been holding this in. “I don’t know where I stand p>
I blink. “With me p>
“Yes p>
I shift closer on the sofa, my hands resting in my lap. “Why didn’t you just say that p>
“Because I didn’t want to pressure you,” he admits. “You’re pregnant and I didn’t want to do anything that could harm you p>
“I’m not fragile, Adrian. All you had to do was ask instead of giving me mixed signals.” I say gently.
“I know, but you’re also important to me p>
That lands harder than I expect, because I had already lost the hope that I mattered to him.
He continues, “I want you to know that every time I canceled, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to see you. It was because I didn’t know where I stood and that uncertainty wreaked havoc in my head. Because the truth is, I want you. More than I know how to handle p>
I swallow. “Adrian p>
He smiles faintly. “Let me finish p>
I nod and he continues.
“You never want to talk about your ex—the father of your child, and that made me wonder if maybe you’re still involved with him,” he says quietly. “Not physically… but emotionally p>
He reaches into his jacket pocket, not pulling anything out, but probably to ground himself.
“I’m in too deep,” he admits. “And I need to know that you’re in this with me too p>
His vulnerability cracks something inside me. I can’t name it, but it’s there.
I grab his hand. “Adrian, I’m not involved with him at all. Not physically, emotionally or mentally p>
“Then why do you shut down when I ask about him?” he asks, his gentle wringing my fucking heart like a wet rug.
“Because it’s a painful subject for me,” I answer. “I don’t talk about him, not because I’m still involved with him, but because I’d rather forget the pain he put me through p>
His mouth forms an ‘O,’ but no sound comes out.
“We have a long history, but it’s not pretty.” I continue. “It’s full of pain and heartbreak I don’t want to ever revisit. That why I shut down when you ask about him. I just don’t want to be reminded of what he put me through p>
He sighs, and I can literally feel his relief like it’s something physical and tangible.
“And the baby?” he asks. “You can never really be free of him because you’re carrying his child p>
“You don’t have to worry about that,” I give him a small reassuring smile. “He wants nothing to do with the baby… in fact, when I first told him, he asked me to abort p>
“What the fuck p>
I can feel his righteous anger, so I squeeze his hand.
“It’s okay; I already accepted that he’s nothing but a sperm donor… and besides, I don’t want him in our lives p>
“So I’ve been making a mess of things and it was all over nothing?” he asks, almost in disbelief. “I should have just asked instead of being a chicken p>
I laugh a little. “It wasn’t for nothing. Your feelings are valid… but yes, you should’ve just asked p>
For the first time since he started avoiding me, I feel like a burden has been lifted. Like I can finally breathe easy.
“Sierra,” he says facing me fully, voice low and sincere, “I don’t want to keep waiting. I want to be with you officially, if you will have me p>
My heart pounds so fast and so hard I can feel it ringing in my ears.
I stare at him, emotion swelling so fast it steals my breath.
“You’re sure?” I ask softly. “Do you still want me even though the baby isn’t yours p>
He cups my cheek, thumb warm against my skin. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t p>
I don’t think. I don’t hesitate. I just answer.
“Yes,” I say. “I want that p>
Relief flashes across his face, softening his features, and his eyes warm even more.
He then leans in, slow enough to give me time to pull away but I don’t.
Our lips meet, and the kiss steals the breath right out of my lungs, sending a shiver down my spine. We’ve kissed before, but never like this. Never with this kind of pull. Never like he’s stealing my very breath.
When we finally part, we are both breathing hard. His arm slips around me naturally, like it’s always belonged there and for the first time in days, maybe longer, I allow myself to believe that I might finally get my happy ever after.