Chapter 163
I stand in front of the mirror, buttoning the soft linen blouse I picked out for the day. The faint scar along my side still aches sometimes, though the pain has dulled. Today, I have two appointments. One at the hospital to check on my side and my hand, and another with my OB–GYN.
As I brush my hair back, I pause, meeting my own reflection. I look a little paler. A little thinner. But stronger, too, somehow.
It’s been exactly two weeks since that day in my room. Two weeks since Noah came in, and said nothing to me. Ignored me like I was invisible. Two weeks of nothing but silence. 3
Lilly stayed until dinner that day, her presence and that of the twins comforting, but Noah never showed. I thought maybe he’d come later, but I was wrong. He never come, never showed his face to me. It was almost like he didn’t want to see me.
Sometimes at night, I hear faint footsteps down the hall, or the low murmur of his voice somewhere far away. It was proof that he’s here. Proof that he stayed here, slept her, ate here, but that was all it was, because even though I heard him, I never saw him. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out that he’s avoiding me.
I’ve tried understanding what his deal is, but in the end, I gave up. He’s the one that demanded I stay here, so why was he being so weird about it? I just can’t understand what his problem is.
I close my eyes for a little bit then exhale slowly. It’s not that I want to see him, not exactly. But his absence has left this hollow ache in my chest I don’t want to name. I don’t know what I was hoping for, but a part of me thought that we’d at least talk. It didn’t have to be anything about the past of us, just something, anything. I never expected this deafening silence. 2
At this point, I’m not sure why I’m even still here. I’m not exactly welcome as per his reaction so why am I still here? 5
My gaze drifts to the window and the memory of Brook flickers in my head. If I’m being honest, she’s made these past two weeks harder than they needed to be. I haven’t seen her much. Maybe twice but both times, the look in her eyes said everything. A sneer here, a glare there and cutting words aimed to hurt me.
I told myself not to care. But it’s draining. It’s starting to get to me living in such an atmosphere.
Still not everything has been heavy. The twins have been the highlight of my stay here. They’re the first faces I see most afternoons, rushing to my room after school with their laughter and wild stories. Sometimes they drag me outside to play with Blackie on the wide lawn. Watching them run, unbothered by the world, reminds me that maybe some things can still be simple and pure.
I smile faintly, remembering Nova squealing as she played with Blackie, and Nolan trying to act strong and brave before tripping over his own shoe. Those little moments have saved me. They’ve kept from falling apart and going insane.
Every day I look forward to spending time with them and most days I even forget that they not my kids, because they’re embedded so deep inside my heart that it’s hard to tell where they start and I end. I can finally admit that I love those two so much, which came as a surprise given how badly their parents have hurt me… but hey? You can persecute someone for their parents‘ sins.
I know it’s time to go. I’ve stayed long enough, but it’s hard. I think part of the reason why I haven’t left yet is because of them. Every time I imagine being away from them, my heart hurts.
I take one last look around the room before crouching beside the bed where Blackie lies curled up.
“I’ll be back soon,” I whisper, scratching gently behind her ear. “Don’t cause trouble, okay p>
She lazily blinks up at me with those soulful eyes, before closing them and going back to sleep.
After making sure she has food and water, I grab my small purse and step into the hallway. The house greets me with its usual quiet, and even though I know there are people around, it feels empty. Like it’s lacking life.