Chapter 113
“Hey p>
Lilly’s voice pulls me back, her hand warm over mine, grounding me in the present. “You’re scaring me. Should I call the doctor p>
My vision clears slowly, the sterile white walls of the hospital room replacing the foggy garden from my dream. I take shaky breaths, trying to calm the frantic rhythm of my heart, to chase away the chill clinging to my chest. But the image won’t leave me. Chloe’s voice, my son’s terrified face and his screams. It all felt too real.
It’s just a dream, I tell myself, over and over again… But it doesn’t feel like one. It feels like something that already happened or something that’s about to and that terrifies me because what if I lose him? What if I never get the chance to meet him? I already love him so much and losing my baby would kill me.
“Sierra?” Lilly’s voice trembles this time, her worried eyes searching mine. “Talk to me p>
I blink hard, forcing myself to focus on her instead of the echo in my mind. Chloe can’t hurt me. She can’t hurt him. She’s gone. Dead and buried. She can’t magically come back from the dead for my son.
This is just my fear taking shape. Manifestation of the fear I felt when the car crashed. The fear of losing my baby. There is nothing more to it.
Finally, after repeating that over and over again, my breathing evens out, and the beeping monitor by my bedside steadies.
“I’m okay,” I say, though my voice comes out rough. “I’m just still a little shaken p>
She exhales, visibly relieved, but the worry in her eyes doesn’t fade and honestly, I don’t blame her.
“You scared me, you know that?” she says softly. “When your mom called, everything just stopped.” Her voice breaks. “I was terrified something bad had happened to you. I was scared I’d lose you p>
She tries to hold herself together, blinking fast, but the tears come anyway, rolling down her cheeks unchecked.
I’ve known Lilly since I was nine. We’ve seen each other through every storm life could throw at us. We are bonded in a way I’ve never been able to explain so seeing her cry like this? It hurts in ways I can’t put into words.
Have you ever met someone like that? Someone who just fits you? Someone you click with instantly, like they’re the missing piece of your soul? I once Googled it, and apparently, she’s my twin flame. I’m not one to believe in such things, but it makes so much sense. 3
Using my good hand, I reach up to wipe the tears from Lilly’s cheeks.
“I’m okay, Lilly Bear,” I whisper, using the nickname I gave her when we were kids. “I’m okay p>
But the words only make her cry harder. It’s like she’s been holding everything in for too long, and now that she knows I’m really here, she can finally let go.
The dam breaks completely and her gut–wrenching sobs fill the room. I pull her into my arms, careful of my cast, and hold her as her sobs shake through her body. Her head rests on my chest, while I rub slow circles on her back while trying to keep myself together. But I can’t. Her cries tear something deep inside me open, and before I know it, my own tears are falling. I understand this pain. I understand her. If anything had happened to her, I’d be just as shattered.
“It’s going to be fine,” I whisper through my own sobs. “We’re going to be fine p>
I don’t know how long we stay like that, crying until there’s nothing left. When the silence finally settles, it feels like we’ve both exhaled something we didn’t even know we were holding.
Lilly pulls away first, sniffles, and wipes at my tears before brushing at her own.
“I really needed that,” she says with a small, watery smile.
“Me too,” I admit quietly.
It feels like I haven’t been able to catch a break since the day I found out I was pregnant. Every time I start to get steady, something else happens, with each one pushing me closer to my breaking point.