Chapter 176
I swallow hard, trying to force down the chaos twisting in my chest.
“Just stay,” I murmur, the words rougher than I intend. “Okay p>
She lets out a hollow, humorless laugh that slices straight through me. “Why should I, Noah?” Her voice shakes, but not from fear–from being done. “None of this is healthy in the long run. I should be living stress–free, not constantly looking over my shoulder because I’m scared of what Brook might pull next p>
I go still, because she’s right, and I hate that she’s right.
My jaw locks, but nothing comes out. Not a single damn word. I don’t know how to convince her to stay. Not when I can’t even understand why the thought of her leaving feels like someone is scraping the inside of my ribs bare.
She slips her wrist out of my grasp like it’s nothing and turns back to her suitcase and doesn’t look at me. It’s like I don’t exist.
“Look,” she says, her voice flattening into something resigned. “I’m thankful you hosted me and protected me, but it’s time I leave p>
“What about the twins? They adore you p>
Fuck, I’m holding on to straws here, but it’s all I can fucking do. Besides, I’ve never seen the twins this happy. Not since before Chloe died.
Sierra has done what I wasn’t able to do. What I couldn’t do. She gave them their light back. Their joy… Nova is talking and laughing more, while Nolan no longer looks like he’s going through the motions. His smiles come easily now.
She pauses, shoulders trembling but barely noticeable unless you’re watching her the way I am. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow, before I leave. They already knew I wasn’t staying here for long, but I’ll explain things to them… Besides, they can always come visit me p>
My throat closes around something jagged as she keeps packing. Every shirt she folds feels like another step away from me. Like I’m watching her disappear in real time.
“You really think they’ll just ‘understand“?” I finally force out, the words low and strained. “How will they when they’ve been happier since you came p>
She freezes for half a second, her hands trembling.
“What do you want me to do?” she eventually snaps.
“I already told you… stay”
She closes her eyes before opening them again. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is p>
“I’m not making anything harder… just stating facts. The twins love you and leaving will hurt them p>
I know what I’m doing. I know exactly what the fuck I’m doing. I’m using the twins to manipulate her, but like I said, there is this insistent feeling that won’t let me let her leave. 1
I know,” she whispers. “I love them too. I do. But staying here is making more trouble than good p>
“It’s not trouble,” I say quickly. “What happened today won’t happen again. I fucking promise you Brook won’t do that shit again p>
Her eyes lift to mine, surprise flickering there. “Wait… you believe me? You believe I didn’t do anything to her p>
The fact that she even has to ask makes me feel some type of way. “Of course I do p>
Her lips part in shock and she whispers more to herself. “Huh. I guess you aren’t stupid or blind after all p>
Before, those kinds of words would leave me reeling, but not today.
I think I’ve finally gotten everything under control, but then she blinks and her eyes turn to steel again.
“It doesn’t matter. Fact remains: Brook hates me… and you may think she’s harmless but I know exactly what she’s capable of p>
I rack my brain, searching for something. Anything that will make her stay. My mind comes up empty, but my mouth moves anyway.
I take a step closer, hands curling at my sides because I’m one wrong breath away from grabbing her again.
“Look,” I say, trying to steady my voice, “I know you and Brook don’t get along, but out there on your own? You’re not safe p>
She pauses, her fingers tightening around the fabric she was folding. “I already had plans to talk to Lilly about security,” she says, frowning. “I can get bodyguards or something p>
Bodyguards. Like that solves anything. Like that keeps her safe.
My jaw ticks. “Bodyguards won’t be enough p>
“They’re enough for everyone else,” she fires back quietly. “They’ll be enough for me p>
I shake my head, frustration and fear blending into something sharp in my chest Why the fuck is she so stubborn? I don’t remember her being this stubborn.
“You don’t understand p>
“Then explain it,” she cuts in, eyes meeting mine for the first time in minutes. “Because all I hear is you trying to convince me to stay in a house where I don’t feel wanted p>
“I’m trying to keep you alive. It’s a fucking bad idea to leave now p>
Her brows knit. “Come on. That isn’t p>
“I’m serious… I don’t think you should leave just yet p>
I don’t know why I’m grasping so desperately, but I can’t let her leave, I don’t understand it yet, but maybe I will the longer she stays here.
She stares at me, searching my face for whatever I’m not saying.
“What is this, Noah?” she asks quietly. “Why are you suddenly fighting for me to stay? You’ve done everything you can to avoid me for two weeks. None of this makes sense p>
I stop, as her words hit hard, and she’s right. None of this makes sense. So why? I don’t understand it, but maybe it’s because I can’t stand the thought of her somewhere I can’t reach? Maybe the idea of her getting hurt again makes me feel like I’m being ripped apart?
I have no idea what to say. I don’t have an answer. Not one I can say out loud, anyway.
I finally say when everything else fails, “Well, you’re not leaving… Even if I have to tie you to this bed, so be it p>
Her eyes widen slightly. “You’re crazy p>
I shrug. Maybe I am for wanting to keep her here, but none of it matters as long as she stays.
We stare at each other, none of us willing to back down, until she finally sighs.
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” she asks tiredly.
“No”
“Why?” she whispers.
Because I can’t stand the thought of you leaving. Because when I saw you on the stairs earlier, something in me tightened in a way I haven’t felt in years. Because the twins look at you like you hung the moon, and that eases something inside… But none of that comes out.
“Stay,” I say. “Just for a little longer p>
She hesitates. God, she hesitates.
She looks down at the half–packed suitcase, then back at me. Then slowly she nods.
“Fine,” she murmurs.
Relief floods me so hard I nearly sway.
“Okay,” I whisper.
But relief doesn’t erase the ache. Or the confusion. Or the unwanted pull between us that feels like it’s tightening its tentacles.
And as she begins to unpack quietly, I know one thing with absolute certainty: This… whatever thing is happening between us? It’s only going to get more complicated from here.