Chapter 335
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here… Minutes? Hours? Days?
Time doesn’t make sense anymore. Not after everything I read. Not after everything I know now.
I’ve been sitting here, wracking my brain, trying to understand how I missed it all these years. How I never once got even the slightest inkling that Chloe was manipulating everything. How I never truly knew her at all.
I’ve been drowning in a pain that refuses to leave. Refuses to ease. Refuses to let me breathe.
I don’t understand how I could have been so blind. So fucking stupid that I never once suspected a thing.
All these years, I hurt Sierra. Treated her like she was nothing. Trampled all over her feelings and for what? For Chloe’s twisted obsession with taking everything Sierra had ever dreamed of.
I ruined every chance I had with her over and over again. I hurt her, humiliated her and pushed her further and further away until she was finally done with me. Until she chose someone else. Until she chose to move on with her life… and now I’m drowning in regret… but what the fuck does that change?
Memory after memory slams into me, each one a reminder of what an asshole I’ve been through the years.
Why didn’t I listen to the people around me? Why did I choose to believe one person over everyone else?
I used to resent my father, you know? There was a time when I was nine or ten when I hated him. I saw what his indifference did to my mother. Saw the pain he caused when he chose Aunt Emma over her. There were days I didn’t even want to look at him.
I was proud of my mom when she chose herself. When she walked away. I watched her pick up the pieces of her broken heart, and I swore I would never become that man.
I swore I’d love fiercely, protect the woman I loved, treasure her and treat her like a queen. I swore I’d be better than him and for the longest time, I believed I was… But now? Now I know that was all a lie.
I didn’t become better man than my father; I become worse… I became the kind of man I’m even ashamed to look at in the mirror because I didn’t just hurt Sierra; I broke her with my own fucking hands.
I drag a hand over my face, shame burning through me as I force myself to breathe.
My grip tightens against my chest, trying to ease the pain tearing through me, but it’s useless. It only gets worse, ripping through me, leaving me bleeding in ways I didn’t even know were possible.
I push to my feet.
I need to see her.
I need to talk to her. To tell her I finally understand. To tell her I see the full scope of everything… to beg for forgiveness like my life depends on it, because it fucking does.
But just as I take a step toward the door, a knock echoes through the silence.
For a moment, I don’t move because a part of me thinks it might be Brook again.
Another knock, louder this time but before I can say anything, the door opens without permission.
“Don’t tell me you’re dead in here,” Gunner’s voice cuts through, followed by his footsteps.
I don’t answer because I don’t have it in me.
His steps slow when he walks into my office.
“Jesus…” he mutters.
I don’t need to look at him to know what he sees.
After Brook left, I broke down and destroyed nearly everything in my office. Glass shattered, furniture overturned, books and papers strewn across the floor… everything reduced to pieces.
It was the only way I knew how to deal with the rage tearing through me but even that wasn’t enough. It didn’t quiet the pain, didn’t dull it. Didn’t stop it from ripping through me like it had no intention of ever letting me go.
“What’s going on?” Gunner asks, staring at the mess.
I don’t answer.
“You didn’t show up yesterday. You didn’t call or text,” he says, his voice more serious now. “What the hell happened, Noah p>
Silence stretches, then I laugh, the sound all wrong and hollow
“You remember how you said Chloe was bad?” I ask, my voice rough.
He frowns. “Yeah p>
I look up at him. “You were way off p>
Something in my tone must hit him, because his expression shifts instantly.
“What do you mean p>
I don’t answer right away. Instead, I lean forward, grab the diary from the floor, and toss it onto the desk.
“That,” I say. “That is who Chloe really was p>
Gunner walks closer slowly, like the book might bite him.
“What is it p>
“Remember the diary p>
He nods, his brows knitting together.
“Well, Chloe did more than just lie that time when we were in high school.” I swallow, trying to push down the tears. “She destroyed me and Sierra p>
I tell him everything. The lies. The manipulation… Every fucking thing she had confessed in that diary.
By the time I’m done, the room is dead silent and Gunner is frozen, his eyes wide with shock.