Chapter 357
SIERRA.
I wake up to the smell of disinfectant and a headache from hell, then pain.
It isn’t sharp at first, but then it spreads slowly through my head, my ribs and my abdomen until I can’t tell where it begins or ends.
A small sound slips out of me before I can stop it and then my eyes flutter open, but everything is blurred. The ceiling above me is too bright, the lights harsh against my vision, and there’s a steady beeping somewhere close that feels too loud in the silence.
For a moment I’m not sure where I am and I just lie there trying to get my mind to catch up to speed… and that’s when it all hit me.
The conversation with Noah at the party, then my encounter with Brook and finally, the moment she moved too quickly for me to realize what she was about to do and pushed me down the stairs.
My entire body trembles as every second of that scene plays in my head. I can still feel her hands as she shoves me. Still feel the fear as I realize I have nothing to hold on to. Still feel the stumble I took backwards and then ever single hit to my body as I rolled down the flight of stairs. I still feel it all, the fear, the blood, and the moment everything went black… it’s like a phantom that has clang to me. Clang to my bones.
I try to move, but my body feels too heavy to respond. There’s a pull at my arm, and when I look down, I see the IV line taped to my skin, wires attached to my chest, machines tracking every breath, every heartbeat.
How long have I been here?
Then my hand moves without me thinking and it settles on my stomach. The moment it does, I freeze because instead of the familiar bump, my stomach is completely flat.
My fingers press down harder, like I can somehow undo what I’m feeling, like I can find something that isn’t there anymore as panic begins rising in my chest.
No. No, no, no—Please God, No.
Every kind of scene begins playing in my mind. That fall was horrible, and even before I lost consciousness, there was still the fear that my baby wouldn’t make it.
My breaths start coming in sharp and ruggedly as panic begins blooming inside me. I clutch the sheets, as my lungs refuse to function and I choke on the very air I’m trying to push inside.
“It’s okay…” I whisper trying to convince myself, “Everything is okay p>
I repeat it over and over again, trying to convince myself. Trying to give myself hope that everything is good and I’m just overthinking despite everything inside me screaming that the baby didn’t make it.
I take a deep breath and look around, hoping to see something I missed, maybe a crib, but I find nothing and that makes my heart sink deeper into the abyss.
My gaze drifts around the room, searching for something that makes sense but I find nothing. It’s quiet, and there’s no one else here.
I slowly push up, struggling a bit, and just as I manage to sit upright, the door opens and a nurse walks in. She stops abruptly when she sees my eyes open, surprise flashing across her face.
“You’re awake,” she says with a soft smile, stepping closer.
She has deep brown eyes and seems to be in her mid-forties.
“Everyone has been eagerly waiting for you to open those beautiful eyes.” She says, moving close.
She checks the chart, then the monitors before adjusting the IV.
“M-my ba-baby” I stammer, my voice hoarse and dry.
She pauses. It’s only for a second, but I see it clearly. The hesitation. The way her expression flickers before she quickly tries to smooth it over.
“You should rest,” she says, too quickly. “Let me call your family p>
“My baby,” I repeat, forcing more strength into my voice even though it trembles. “Where is my baby p>
Her grip tightens on the chart in her hands and her eyes flick away, avoiding my gaze.
“I…” she starts, then stops.
Her eyes nervously look to the door before they land back on me… Why is she looking at the door? Why won’t she answer?
“I’ll get the doctor, and your family,” she says suddenly, taking a step back. “They’ll explain everything p>
“Wait,” I say, my heart starting to race. “Just tell me p>
But she’s already moving, too fast, like she needs to get out of the room. Like she’s trying to escape my questions.