Chapter 390
The awkward conversation from yesterday keeps replaying in my mind. To be honest, I never expected that Adrian and I would reach a point where we have nothing to talk about, but things change, and so do people.
After everything I’ve been through, I’ve come to find comfort in silence. I observe more than I speak, and honestly, what’s the point of talking unless I actually have something meaningful to say? If it’s not important, I’d rather remain quiet.
Mom thinks I’ve become withdrawn. She believes I’m hiding my pain, but that’s because she doesn’t want to accept this version of me. She doesn’t want to accept that people change.
She’s not the only one. I saw the way Noah kept looking at me, like he was trying to figure out what was different. He kept trying to get me to talk, but unlike Mom and Lilly, he didn’t seem like he was trying to bring back who I used to be. If anything, it felt like he was trying to understand who I am now, trying to find a way to connect with this version of me instead.
Sighing, I drop onto the couch, letting my head fall back for a moment. I can hear Mom moving around in the kitchen, keeping herself busy like she always does.
As much as I appreciate being under her care, I know I can’t stay like this. I need to start doing something. I need to be part of the search for Valarie, but I also need to have something of my own by the time we find her. Noah has accepted her, yes, but I don’t want to depend on him. I want to be able to stand on my own, to provide for her without relying on anyone else.
With that in mind, I reach for a notebook and a pen. The proposal isn’t going to write itself, and even though I didn’t fully understand it back when Lilly tried to teach me and even found it boring at the time, I can now see just how important it is.
My phone rings just as I’m about to write the first word and I pick it up after the first ring.
“Hey, Lilly,” I mumble into the phone.
There’s a small pause before she replies, “Hi, babe. How are you feeling today p>
I sigh. I’ve come to hate that question, because no matter how many times I tell them I’m alright, they never really believe me. They just keep asking it again and again, like one day the answer will change.
“I’m fine, Lilly,” I say gently. “You don’t have to keep asking me that p>
“I know, but I’m worried about you,” she replies, her voice softer now, “ These past few months haven’t exactly been easy p>
I let out a slow breath. “They haven’t, but that doesn’t mean they’ve completely broken me p>
That’s one of the things I learned from my therapist. No matter what life throws at you, you don’t have to break. You might be hurt, you might be bruised, you might even bleed, but that doesn’t mean you have to fall apart completely.
I’ve held onto those words ever since I started accepting her help. I’m not broken, and I refuse to be, no matter what has happened. My life has taken turns I never expected, and some of those turns were forced on me by other people’s actions, but that doesn’t mean everything is ruined. It just means I have to find a new way forward. And I do have something to hold onto now. Someone to look forward to. Someone who gives me a reason to keep going for as long as I still have breath.
“Okay,” she murmurs after a moment. “I just wanted to let you know that Mom and I are on our way p>
“You’re coming here?” I ask, straightening slightly.
“Yeah,” she says. “She wants to talk to you and Aunt Ivy, and she wants me there too p>
“Do you know what she wants to talk about p>
I can almost picture her shrugging on the other end of the line.
“No, she told me I’d find out when we get to Aunt Ivy’s place” she says. “Although, before we left the country, she did mention that she needed to talk to me too p>
I stay quiet for a moment before answering, “Okay… I guess I’ll just have to wait then p>
“We’re about fifteen minutes away, so it won’t be long before we get there p>
“See you then p>
The moment we hang up, I push myself up from the couch and make my way to the kitchen.
“Mom, Aunt Harper and Lilly are on their way. Do you have any idea what Aunt Harper wants to talk about p>
Mom turns to me, a dish towel draped over her shoulder. “What are you talking about p>
I quickly explain what Lilly just told me. She listens, then sighs softly.