Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Allie’s POV
I sighed as Kaia pulled away from the room and my brother, who was confused about what she was talking about.
“How did you know?” I asked, crossing my hands on my chest.
For the longest while, I thought I hid it well. But with her comment a few minutes ago, it was obvious I was only deceiving myself and I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought.
She shrugged, “I mean, it’s really obvious. And except they choose to play along, I’m pretty sure everyone can see it.” She replied and a loud groan escaped my
lips.
“But I hid it so well p>
Kaia snorted, “you look at him like he stole your candy. And I would know a lot about that.” She said, a sad look flashed through her eyes and I sighed again.
My crush on Ryder began the moment I knew what it meant…which was really young. But even at a young age, I found him really charming. I always thought he was good looking and kind because even as my brother’s best friend, he made me feel included.
Then I learnt the concept of mates… it became a prayer, begging the moon goddess to make him mine. When he didn’t find his mate on his eighteenth birthday, I was relieved, hoping it was a sign of answered prayer but I was heartbroken when on my eighteenth birthday, when nothing happened.
“I-i’m wasting my time,” I said, taking a deep breath. “He’s waiting for his mate.” ‘Does he know p>
I nodded, “I probably mentioned it before traveling to the city, and I thought it’ll be easier to move on, b-b p>
“Moving on isn’t as easy as you think, I’m sure you know that now p>
“I know p>
“Good thing he isn’t a player, that’s the worst.” I took another deep breath, I don’t think I was going to survive if he was.
She tried to comfort me before going back to the children. And instead of going back inside, I went towards one of my favorite places in the pack, where I could think without interruptions.
As I approached the bench in the pavilion, a smell I was all too familiar with hit my nose. I debated between going forward or finding another spot…he’d avoided being alone with me, I didn’t want to make it any worse.
‘You can’t keep avoiding him.” Rhea, my Lycan said.
My Lycan also finds Ryder irresistible. We wanted a mate, but there was just something about him that drew us in. Was it his striking blue eyes, well built body…or his beautiful smile?
“I can’t face him. I’m going to leave.” I told Rhea.
“He smelled you the moment you entered. If he wanted to leave, he wouldn’t be sitting down there.” She assured me.
Just as I took another step close to him, he stood up and turned to face me. “Allison” He called, his gaze meeting mine.
“H-hey I said.
“I was just leaving. I have training in a few minutes p>
If he hadn’t been avoiding me, I probably would’ve bought it.
“We can still talk right? We’re friends after all.” My voice was low and calling him ‘friend’ sounded bitter coming out of my mouth.
He thought about it for a few minutes before nodding his head reluctantly.
Instead of sitting beside him which was exactly what I wanted, I opted to sit across from him where I could see his face properly.
“So, how was the city?” He asked and I heard Rhea scoff in my head.
“It was boring. I wanted to come, but I wasn’t sure if I paused, thinking about how many times I had to stop myself from shifting into my Lycan and running all the way here. Or how many times I wanted to call him but didn’t.
“Boring? How can it be boring if you’re there? You’re like a lig He started before I interrupted him.
“Did you miss me p>
If he was surprised by my question he didn’t show it. He ran his hand through his thick hair.
“Allie he groaned, his voice sounding strained.
“It’s just a question, Ry p>
“Of course, everyone p>
“I’m not asking about everyone. I’m asking about you. Did you miss me?” I repeated.
He sighed deeply, before standing up and pacing. “It’s not that easy, Allie and you know it p>
“Do you hate me because of what happened?” His head jerked to mine, disbelief written in his eyes. My heart was racing, waiting for what his answer would be.
“I don’t hate you…I can’t p>
“Then why are you avoiding me? I know you’re going to say you’re not, but you are. And it really hurts.” My voice was barely above a whisper now. I was struggling to keep up with the facade that my insides weren’t a mess.
“You’re my best friend’s sister, he’s going to kill me if he ever finds out something happened between us p>
“So you regret it then p>
“Allie, I Ryder trailed off, his eyes searching mine. “I don’t regret it. I mean, it shouldn’t have happened, but he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You were hurting that night, and I couldn’t just leave you alone. And then…things just happened.” Ryder’s gaze drifted away, his voice barely above a whisper. “But it was wrong, Allie. I was wrong to take advantage of you like that p>
If anyone cared to listen, they would probably hear the sound of my heart breaking. For the past two years, I’ve held onto the memories of that night.
It was the night after I turned eighteen. I could remember being so heartbroken that he wasn’t my mate. Everyone thought it was because I didn’t find my mate and they tried to console me.
I went for a run, I remember cursing at the moon goddess for being so selfish and self centered. Then I slept off by the lake side, refusing to go back to the pack. When I woke up, it was already late but somehow, he found me.
We spent most of that night talking about how things could’ve gone differently. Then one thing led to another, I kissed him and the next was history. It was like we both needed it.
“What difference does it make? If you were my mate, he wouldn’t have said anything p>
“But I’m not, Allie p>
“Then make me!” I cried. It doesn’t matter if it made me look desperate.
“Then what happens when our mates comes?” He asked. “I’ll see you around, Allison.” He said after a while when I didn’t say anything.
With a thud, I fell back on the bench. It felt like my heart suddenly stopped beating.
I watched his retreating figure. “Maybe it was time I just let him go instead of trying
to force something that would never happen.” Tears dropped freely from my eyes, and I let it fall.
I must’ve fallen asleep again, because the next thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a smiling Dani and a confused Kaia.